The Importance of Being Idle

I am as shocked as you are. Really. I can't believe that I've updated this three times in one year. Is it that I have more to say? Is it that I've got more time? I don't really know, but I'm making myself some sausage rolls currently (vegetarian, yeah...) and I thought, "Hey, it's almost the end of the year! Why don't I update the folks on the things that I've done!?" And this, intrepid reader, is where we find ourselves currently.

Where are my manners? How are you? I hope you, specifically you, the person reading this now, are the best that you are able to be. And, if not, then I hope there's goodness waiting for you somewhere. We shouldn't have wished to live in more interesting times. It really is tiring, y'know.

I've been, and this is an absolutely out-of-left-field thing for me to say, but… happy? All of the hidden mechanisms, my plans and schemes, and the daily transpirings just seem to be cooperating. Which, in turn, makes me feel suspicious, but I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Or any horse in the mouth. Ian Fleming, Bond writer and gonorrhea sufferer, said that horses are dangerous at both ends and uncomfortable in the middle. I'm not going to disagree with that in any way.

Work is good. Work is money, which is convenient because I quite enjoy having that. It's not a particularly mentally stressful time, not physically demanding. It's often kinda fun, and I like seeing the locals. I think I've touched on it before, but the amount of cheese that I am able to buy based on my location to a supermarket is astronomical. Sometimes I wish I could stop, but if there's one thing that I like more than cheese, it's denying someone else the ability to have cheese. Or any consumable, really. Wow. That mental food insecurity is a real thing, eh? Goodness. It didn't sound that unusual until I wrote it out, then.

I am continuing to work out, which is fun too. I stopped for a smidge when I headed to Melbourne (patience, I'll get to that shortly), but I'm back at it. As you may or may not know, I've never had the greatest relationship with the body, but it is slowly starting to get into a shape/form that I don't completely hate? And that has to mean something, right? It's getting smaller in the places that I'm hoping it to and bigger in the other parts. Mind out of the gutter! I had a little victory some months back when I tried on jeans and they fit. Immediately. Not sucking the gut in, no "I'll buy them for later," no loosening of any bits. Just... contentedness. Despite there being many pictures around of me in jeans, I haven't really worn them all that much since 2010. I am the antithesis to Sydney Sweeney. In more ways than one, really. There's a quote from Scrubs which comes about quite often. Dr. Cox talking to Turk, and this goes down:

Dr. Cox: The key to my exercise program is this one simple truth — I hate my body.
Turk: What?
Dr. Cox: Do you understand? The second you look in the mirror and you're happy with what you see, baby, you just lost the battle.

I don't hate my body, but I certainly, y'know, probably would ghost it if I had the chance. All in good time, Cameron. All in good time. We live and we learn.

We've got work, working out, and the last stop is uni work. Good news is that I am now 83% of the way through my degree. Astonishing, really. I can't actually fathom how I've made it this far. To a point where I was trying to input more units for next semester, and it said, "Nah dude. Too many!" Which came as a bit of a shock. A weird happy-but-also-scared smile slid onto my face in an "Oh. Already?" kind of way.

I'll be taking a philosophy unit for a summer course, and that'll take me down to two units needed next semester. One is my final linguistics unit and the other, and I probably could've done this in my very first semester, will be a human biology unit. That's to prove to folks later on, when I apply to a Speech Pathology program, that I kinda sort of know what I'm on about.

Long story short: I passed all my units this semester and, as such, I have a French minor. Who would've thought that, eh? Me, a little French boy, baguette in hand, wine flowing freely, dreaming of Provence in the summer. Smoking Gauloises, je regardais les champs de lavande qui semblaient s'étendre à l'infini. La chaleur de l'après-midi enveloppait doucement la peau, et l'air avait ce parfum de terre chaude et de soleil. Tout autour, c'était la tranquillité de la campagne, comme un tableau vivant... Oh, sorry!

Anyway, I am happy. For the first time in quite some time, I can think quite well and say that I'm doing well in all aspects. I take the good with the bad, but it is mostly good.

I did say that I was going to mention why I was in Melbourne: Oasis! I finally saw Oasis. I can't quite believe it. It is, by far, the largest cultural event that I have ever been a part of. In my mental post-concert review, I thought that I probably saw them 10 years too late. Most of their music was from their first three albums, which was a kick in the butt, as I am an ardent Don't Believe the Truth fan. I was very happy to have been there. I was also quite happy to be in Melbourne if I'm being perfectly honest. It was a good week and a half there. I ate well, enjoyed my time traveling about, and even got to meet up with a wonderful person in Frankston. She knows who she is. There's no euphemism here, we met up and carried on with our friendship as if we'd only been apart for a couple of days.

Where's my next big travel going to take me? I don't know. The big, big one is back to Canada in some way, shape, or form. But I wouldn't mind having a little squizz at Japan. I know, I know. It's getting to become quite a place where Australians go, but I did briefly look at the prices, and they weren't too atrocious. Plus, I've got some pointers for Hideaki Anno. I'm not putting the cart before the horse, but it's something that I'll put in the "Potentially" folder. If not that, then maybe a post-exam, pre-graduation trip to Bali. Again, I'm walking the stereotype, but that's okay.

I sincerely did mean what I said at the beginning. I don't know who necessarily reads this, but if you do and you're not having the greatest of times, get in touch with me. Reach out. I said I was attempting to practice gratitude last time, and I'm very willing and happy to listen. At this point in time, I think it's fair for me to pay back what I've been given in spades.

Looking forward to those sausage rolls. Who knew puff pastry was so easy to manipulate?! I'm going to make myself a little dill pickle hot sauce which, really, isn't that clever. I've got 10 hot sauces to consume and I'm only one person. Ugh, the perils of the hot sauce enjoyer. It's really quite a challenge. I don't want to put hot sauce on my cereal.

This'll be the last update for the year, I think. I did mean what I said: if you are not having a good time, please reach out. If you are having a good time: please reach out. Just get in contact with me if you're feeling it. 

Lots of love to you and the important people in your life.

As this is an Oasis adjacent post, I thought I'd go with a song off of Don't Believe the Truth. I am prone to hyperbole, but I must have listened to this song hundreds, if not thousands, of times. There's something nostalgic about it but in an anemoic way. I'll let you discover that meaning. Until then, enjoy this delightful little tune and think of me.

New Slang

Who'd've known? Who really would have suspected that I'd be this iterant about my itinerance? I'm very pleased with that last sentence. I really should just leave it all there.

But, intrepid reader, you would not be here unless you had some amount of interest, for reasons unknown, about my goings on? It's year three of being back in Australia. I never thought I'd amount to this much time back here. It's not too bad, I have to admit. I have a good life back here. I have an easy life back here. I suspect that will cause me to emit some amount of contempt for it all.

What has been going on with me? I am finishing up my second semester of my second year at university. I can't believe it either. I'm genuinely astounded by me making it here. I get to feeling that the standards have lowered since my childhood cohort attended.

It was a pretty challenging semester. The French unit got bumped up a notch and the two linguistics units were a heck of a thing too. I now have seven more units and I'm finished. That'll be a shock to the system. To be released back in to the mortal world. To fend for myself. What am I going to do after? All these pies cooling by the windowsill.

I've steadily shed mass from when I turned back up here. I forget if I've mentioned it but I was a rotund little boy. I was a Boston cream donut away from being 140kg. That's 308lb for those of you playing for the Imperial system.

I'd like to say that it was, in part, my newfound love of not drinking that helped me out the most. I'm getting on to two and a half years of not drinking. That's also something that is shocking to me. That I've almost turned my entire raison d'être around in the brief time that I've been back. Is this my new normal? Honestly, I hope so. I'm down to just under 100kg/220lb and looking to become even more svelte.

It is weird. Being a big beefy boy was just a kind of "Oh, that's just Cameron" moment.

What else has been going on with me? Uni, weight loss... work? Work is pretty good. I am an entrusted employee of a nationwide poison provider and, as such, I'm responsible for the careful distribution of volatile liquids to the public.

I am trained in the subtle art of selecting said volatile liquids with occasion, intention, and necessity. And so far, so good. I am good at what I do and don't have many regrets. Maybe the money. I could always do with more money.

What are my next steps? Tragically, I did not get selected for the Green Card lottery but maybe that's for the best? I do love the United States. For those of you who've visited, it really is a beautiful place with some astonishingly kind people. They like helping people out. They like to be like and I, in turn, like them.

The current climate is a bit higgeldy piggeldy. I still have my little eye out for the E-3 visa but I'm not holding on to anything tremendously serious. England/the UK? That's also a potential but my biggest fear is returning to the raising of the wrist. Could I battle that? I think so but I'm not willing to tempt myself. Not just yet. Keep an eye out. I'll definitely let you all know what my plans are.

One thing that has been playing on my mind is: how ever might I express my gratitude for everyone who has ever read this? I'm sure a lot of the views I get are from bots. I see an exquisite amount of views from China, Russia, and, weirdly, Botswana. A lot of the search results are, unsurprisingly, for people looking for flowers in Toronto. I guess I should have changed that but I don't intend to.

But how do I? I wish I knew a way to be able to be more gracious of all the people in my life? I've met an exquisite amount of people in my time. Tragically, a lot of them have been ephemeral. I think a lot about the people that I've met in passing or as I've been three sheets to the wind. If you're reading this then please send me a message. Facebook is fine. I'd put my email here but I don't need any more spam coming my way.

I want you to know that despite my previous emotional incarnations, I think I'm probably as emotionally raw nowadays as I've ever been. Goodness, I was angry. I was not a kind person to a lot of people. Nothing's going to change past Cameron but I do hope that present and future Cameron play a better, bigger, kinder role.

I think I've done well. Thank you for reading this far if you have. And if you haven't then you'd never know.

I remember this song. I remember this song well enough that it lived in a delightful little recess of my brain so that I went "Oh, The Shins! Yeah! Them!". I seem to remember buying a bootleg style Japanese album (it very well could've been Chinese but I was fifteen years old and not versed in the difference between the two: Japanese mixes Chinese characters with its own scripts, while Chinese just uses characters) in the Carillon Arcade in the CBD.

I don't know if I really ever deeply listened to it but it was 2001. There were bigger things going on. Like Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring being released. Yeah, that was the absolute highlight that year.

Here’s hoping future Cameron keeps picking the right pies off that windowsill.

Canada Dry

Here we are again. Look at me—two posts in two years! Slow down there, Ryoki Inoue! That’s a prolific writer joke, indeed. Goodness me, I’m too kind to you all!

So, how has everyone been? I’d be shocked if, despite the number of “views” these posts receive, anyone is truly reading them. I’m ambivalent about that, to be honest. Sure, I like seeing how many people (or bots) might be reading my words, but I also don’t lie awake at night with the vain desire to reach more eyes. No thanks! This is, I suppose, more of a slow buildup toward getting back to traveling. More to be revealed, intrepid reader!

What have I been up to? I’m still slogging away at university. Last time I posted—just over a year ago—I was quite pleased to have finished my first semester. Now I’m halfway through my degree—in terms of elapsed time, semesters, and, more importantly, credits. Gotta bag ‘em up and slot ‘em in because those are the important ones. I’ve just finished a summer course on forensic science, and it was bloody fantastic. This will put me one unit ahead, and that’s exactly what I’m keen on doing. Ideally, I’ll try to earn two extra units sometime during 2025 so that, in 2026—specifically in my last semester—I’ll only be doing one linguistics unit. That’d be pretty cool, don’t you think? It probably will be.

As for the overall progress of my studies, I’ve been doing well. Shockingly well, in fact. I don’t know where this whole notion of me being a fool comes from, but I certainly lean into that idea a little too much. My essays are solid, my exams aren’t too bad, and I’m genuinely enjoying the process. I wonder if that’s how academia gets people. I suppose this is where I need to start considering my next path. Ideally, I’ll pursue a Master’s in Speech Pathology—that’s been the plan all along. But what comes before that? Who knows.

I would like to travel a bit after I finish my studies. I’m not sure I’m wild about diving straight back into everything—I also don’t think I can. I’d rather not start in the middle of the year again. Perhaps I could find an opportunity overseas, too. I have to consider that possibility. But yeah, I’d like to head back to the U.K. for a while, catch up with some mates and family, then move on to Canada to do my thing there and, if I’m feeling especially daring, venture into the United States. Oooh boy. That whole thing again, eh? It’s got me biting my fingernails, and I’m not even there yet...

...as I’ve also applied for the Green Card Lottery. Again. Clever and long-time readers will remember that I was actually selected for the GCL waaaaaay back in 2011. I didn’t manage to get the darn thing on account of my Canadian police clearance not arriving on time—not that they doubted me, but they needed it to continue the process. Nowadays, apparently, a receipt is sufficient. Curse it—I missed out on that one. What would I do in the U.S., I wonder? The dream is somewhere warm, dry, and quiet. But not too dry—I crave the snow and the cold. If any Americans are reading this, let me know of a place like that!

Since the last entry, I’ve managed to reduce my mass by an absolutely superb 16 kilos (35 lb for those of you using the Imperial system and 2½ stone for those in England), and I’m not finished yet. I’d like to get under 100 kg (or 220 lb/15 stone) before I start singing my praises. My clothes fit better, I feel better, and my worldview seems a little more cherry red and a little less Aberdeen grey. I might very well be at my highest level of fitness ever—I don’t know exactly how to measure that, but I do feel good. I feel almost happy. Imagine that.

Apart from that, I don’t have a whole bunch going on. I think I like it that way—fewer distractions getting in the way of the ultimate goal: graduation. I’m sure I’ll look back on this later in life and cackle. Regardless, it’s a noble goal and one I’m happy to wait to achieve. I’d like to get back into some sports and even play more guitar, but for now, I’m content to focus a little more on my schooling. As an aside, I will deliberately fail a unit if it means I can use those ferries from Elizabeth Quay to UWA. It feels like it’s my destiny somehow.

I've been giving Matt Berry's new album a fair old thrashing as of the last week. It's sound, it's solid, and it is good reminder that he has thirteen albums to his name. Can't say that I've listened to all of them, but I did love Witchazel when it came out. I think I may have downloaded it from his website which was the style at the time. Okay. Sure, it's called Canada Dry but that's merely a coincidence. I know for a fact that drinking a Canada Dry in Canada as you are dry is one of the best experiences you can get. If you're getting snowed on, then you're gonna have a bad time. 

Also, watch Toast of London and you can appreciate Gale of Baldur's Gate 3 and his oft delivered bastardry.