I'll Sail My Ship Alone

Howdy chaps and chapettes. Let me update you on what's going on with me in Tennessee. It's mostly fun and thirty percent excitement and that equals a whole load of throwing up!

My being here in Tennessee has ruffled some feathers and, as of July 19, has caused Chelsea and I to move out of the Bennett household. As it so happens I have been accused of fondling Chelsea, snooping in the belongings of those I love and being disrespectful to those in the Bennett house. As it happens I don't believe that I'm guilty of any of the accusations and that Chelsea is being unfairly treated. As it happens she's finally moved out to an apartment in the Nashville area. It's beautifully located in Hillsboro Village and just near everything I love about Nashville. Finally there's public transport in to Nashville and I really like that. There's also Taco Mamacita literally down the road and they are the only people I know who serve Sue. It's like eating a fireplace but in a very yummy, delicious way. I'm wondering how much of my arm I would get cut off in order to get a pint. Probably up to the elbow.

Surprise wise I managed to spook Chelsea with a surprise party on Saturday! I cooked up some delicious guacamole, an Irish bruschetta (feta, orange pepper and green tomato), baked mushrooms with sweet potato, oregano and goat's cheese and a Guinness cake with a Baileys frosting. Everything went well and I was really happy that Chelsea was surprised because with out 'surprise' it's not even close to being a surprise party. I still need to get her present but I'm sure she'll like it. She's my darling girl.

Existentially I am having some trouble coping with my eventual death but I'm hoping that's some time in the future. Like at least 3 years. Five at the real outside. I'm not sure if I should stay in Canada, go back to England or return home to Australia. It truly is frustrating when you realise that you're 24, you've 'travelled' the world (i.e. gone to England, drunk yourself silly, realised Canada's a viable option, flown over there, drunk yourself silly and then wondered why you're still a virgin) and then you decide to scratch your backside and figure out which way your life is going? To be honest I have no idea and I'm certainly not going to offer any clues here. I imagine that I'll probably figure out a temporary solution and I'll be happy until the next time I take my clothes off for a shower. I'm getting to an age where I can't afford to fart about and hope to get away with it. Currently I'm being shown far more reasons to go home than to stay. I don't know, intrepid readers. I really just do not know.

On a positive note I am getting a haircut. Everyone is in love with haircuts! I really don't think you appreciate a haircut until you leave. They should make you pay, let you leave and then ask how it is. At least that's how I go. I'm one for complimenting the hairdresser no matter how the cut is. I truly believe in self preservation and if I were to air my true feelings about how a haircut has gone I think I'd probably been more bloodied. I have issues with them apparently. Who ever writes a blog paragraph about hairdressers. Me?

So I'm still alive although it may not seem like it. I'm struggling, at times, to deal with reactions and emotions from people who I am supposed to know quite well. I've never really had to deal with much drama and, to be honest, I don't like it. I feel that if I were to return to Australia I would be much calmer. There's something about America where everyone feels like there emotions are substantially more valid than someone else walking down the street. I think there's just a calmer demeanour in Australia. There's certainly drama but not to this extent.

I don't feel like I should be this evil, moustache twirling, madam-strapped-to-the-tracks effigy that I'm currently being portrayed as. I really would like to live my life as drama free as possible but, as I'm soon discovering, it may seem to be difficult when you're dealing with other humans. I honestly can't let this continue. I can't let my reputation and, as an extension of my own being, my girlfriend's reputation be muddied by people who are too indolent to figure out a way of contact. If I were to be brutally honest I would wish for a line-up of people who have besmirched my character while I've been down in the United States and just have a brief moment of their time to either slap them or to talk them out of their ludicrous, fictitious world they've created. Either way I'd be sufficiently happy to leave this country.

Don't think of me as angry, regretful or just plain rude. I'm not and if I were then I'm sure that I would have more enemies. It's saddening for me that I've tried to be nice and it seems like there's somewhat of a neutron star effect going on where all that I've 'created' with this nice façade has suddenly come back to bite me square on the arse cheeks. I'm wondering what would have happened if I had tried to be cruel to people. If I had not considered their feelings whatsoever or, at least, tried to manipulate them to act like my little puppets. I'm sure I'm capable of that but I'll be damned if I'll be drawn in to acting like that toward people. No thanks.

On a positive note I can go to get tacos any time I want. It's a shame I don't really like tacos. I'm more of a burrito man. They're the less messy, more delicious tasting equivalent. I'm really wary of trying these soft tacos. If I want hard burritos I'll just leave them out for a day or two! No thanks. Burritos > Tacos. That should be a shirt. This playful dinosaur is showing the exact opposite emotions to the ones that I'm feeling currently. More like "Make Me A Burrito!'" am I right?