These Flowers in the Dirt

The Loved Ones

2012-01-19T09:57:00.000-05:00

It's a very rare occurrence where I'm unable to think of anything to say. However it seems that has been the case in the last month and a bit. Surprising seeing as it was the 'festive' period and most people wouldn't be able to be contained. Fortunately I managed. Oh my, did I manage.

Having said that I did have a rather pleasant time at Christmas. It was my first (and hopefully only...) Christmas since leaving in 2007 and everything ran to how I remember it. That was fairly pleasing. Also I wasn't over burdened with gifts as I'd made it known that I was still planning to vanish in to the sunset this year. I have to say the highlight was the rain cover for my backpack. The bottom of the backpack is waterproof but nowhere else it. I had been caught short a couple of times and really should have got myself one but... eh, I did not. I dealt with it.

Not terribly much else has happened since my last blog post. I do lead a fairly simple life. I guess what I should really be doing is planning for the next stage of my life. I keep considering what elements need to come together so I can get my life in gear. But... nothing yet. In my mind I tackle it this way - it's as if there are a several clouds floating quite closely to each other. These clouds contain different elements of what I want to have in my life - marriage, job, friends, location, travel - and are fairly cool characters on their own. Where the problem arises is that they don't play well together. Two might mesh together particularly well but the other clouds are just real bastards and refuse to play at all. It's truly bothersome.

Realistically I think Canada is next on the cards. Not immediately though. I must first get a job, sucker some money out of the company I'm working for and then toddle along smartly to The True North. It's quite amusing how that place can be so enticing to me yet I can not think of what I want to be there. Perhaps that is something that I should contemplate figuring out. It has something to do with the Habs, poutine, snow and their ridiculously colourful money. Speaking of which they'll be changing to polymer money very soon. Woo.

Something that sticks with me from Canada was when I lived in Montreal. I had only just found work for myself and was enjoying it there. I was figuring out the Metro system by taking it as often as I could. One fine day I happened to slow down to talk to a chap who looked shadier than a barrel full of fish. The exchange went something like this...

Him: "Oh, hi. Bonjour.. do you speak English?"
Me: "Uh... yeah? Yeah, that's about the only language I speak"
Him: "Ohh, thank GOODNESS. I need your help..." - I should have figured him out by now - "...my wife and I got here on Monday night and we were just about to book in to our hotel when our bags got stolen. They had everything in there. Even our wallets. I tried going to the police here but they were so rude. I'm from Ottawa and our police wouldn't treat us like this..".
Me: "Uh huh"
Him: "So I'm wondering... could you spare a couple of dollars? So I can make a phone call or two?"
Me: "I don't think phone calls are that expensive to Ottawa"
Him: "Oh, I'm hungry too, man! I haven't eaten in, like, 3 days". It was closer to a day and a half.

This is where I decided to flip the game around.

Me: "Aw, man. I'd love to help you but I'll tell you what. Just look at the way I'm dressed, listen to the accent... I'm Australian and I've only just flown in here. I can't speak French and I ain't got a job so I'm completely dry out of money. I'd help but I'm struggling at the moment myself...". This went on for a while and I turned the sob story up pretty well.

Him: "Oh brother. Here... here have some of my money. You shouldn't have to suffer like that. I'm sorry that you can't get a job and I'm sorry things suck for you so much. But if I see you around again just remember me, okay?"

And with that he gave me about 10$. On in the inside I felt bad for doing that but only for about 10 minutes. I overheard some people in the Sherbrooke Metro station talking about how this guy had tried to con some money out of them. Months later I conned another couple of dollars out of him. I felt no guilt that time.

Yes! That was a bottle in my pocket. I'm never happy to see anyone!

I say! Who is that debonaire chap with the most keen fashion sense? Why, intrepid reader(s), that is me! I must retract what I said earlier about being boring and add that I attended a wedding about a fortnight ago. This is what the blog title alludes to.

My word...it was the most enchanting day I have had in a while. The sky stayed clear of cloud and the sun shone extra hard as two good friends became wed. The ceremony was short and sweet, rather audible and attended by friends and family. Not a fault at all.

The reception was equally amazing. Beer was flowing freely, the tunes were handpicked by the bridal party (mostly The Beatles so I was very involved in the singing and dancing) and everyone was socialising. The speeches were sweet, humourous and well written and the night was young. What made the night for me was two things. The unexpected barbecue fire that was swiftly dealt with AND also the cheese that no one touched. Golly, did I eat all that cheese. Je ne regrette rien. Not a thing.

I feel like I've written a "What I Did Over the Summer Holidays" style pastiche. I promise to improve my writing style one day. Not now... but one day

Without further ado I'd like to introduce Mr Elvis Costello with The Loved Ones. This song can be found on Imperial Bedroom. P.P.S.I.L.O.V.E.Y.O.U indeed!

Take care, be good, read lots of books.

Until next time.

Long, Long, Long

2011-11-29T06:42:00.000-05:00

Howdy!

Well seems it has been quite a while since I've posted anything on there. I've made a couple of attempts to write something on here but it has usually come out quite rubbish or drenched in ridiculous sarcasm. Most of those attempts have ended up deleted and I thought I'd try a more serious approach. So far, so good!

It's been 59 days since I last posted anything on here and within those 59 days I've accomplished quite a bit. Rather I should clarify and say that I got myself a job. Sure, it's only a part time job but it is allowing me to pay off my credit card debt which, in reality, I shouldn't have accrued in the first place. I was somewhat shocked when I was told how much I owed but then again I was using it pretty heavily in the UK so really I'm reaping what I have sowed. Fortunately it's not an enormous, insurmountable debt and I'm paying it off quicker than is the required amount. Yay, responsibility!

Now that I know I'm not getting my Green Card I think I'll at least look in to buying a car. Not because I'm lazy but I would like to be able to go down south to Denmark for a little while. And 'cause adults like I'm meant to be should have one so I'd best conform and get a car. I'm not even looking for an expensive car. I've got a fairly good idea of where I'll be looking at definitely the price range. I just saw a convertible that would be awesome to buy but there's motor trouble. I guess there's going to be aesthetic problems with any car under about $5000. Oh well! You know the old adage about beggars and their inability to be fussy over articles.

What else... uh, Christmas gift are now being thought of and processed. I really can't handle people who begin to get in the spirit of Christmas too early. It's slightly unnerving. I guess the good thing about Christmas is Boxing Day. It's the furthest away from next Christmas you can be. Plus there's plenty of food to eat the day after and I can honestly deal with that.

On the topic of food I've decided to really cut down on my intake and stop 'grazing'. On top of that I've started exercising/riding my bike quite a bit more and I've actually lost 2 kilos (4lbs, American friends!). That's quite exciting. I shouldn't have really let myself become Count Flabula anyway!

Right! I must finish doing what ever it is I am doing now. Interestingly enough I was drawing! And I don't ever draw!

Oh, I almost forgot! From now on I'm going to be posting Youtube videos of the songs the blog posts are named after. I'm not sure if people realise but the titles are songs! Get with it, people.

Long, Long, Long is a song by The Beatles and can be found on their eponymous (look it up) album The Beatles.

I Hope You're Happy Now

2011-09-09T11:38:00.000-04:00

Well, well, well... look who came trudging back through the sludge of the internet to update his ridiculous 'web log' about nothing in particular. La-di-da, look at who has thoughts that he thinks need to be published. Pish posh. I apologise for the delay in communications but I have been stricken down with a fairly serious case of laziness. I just had no desire to write anything and I am sorry. There. An apology for the 3 people that read this.

So where did I leave everyone? On the teetering edge of a thrilling conclusion? Leading up to a sexy romantic comedy where the nerd turns in to a hunk and uses his new found power for good? No. It wasn't anything like that. It was me whining about how much I missed America. Oh, and apparently that was just after I had received my Green Card application notice. Haven't heard a lick of that since I sent it off. I'm hoping that's a blessing in disguise. No news is good news, right? RIGHT?

It's 6 days now until I finish work and head off to backpack (finally) around the United Kingdom. It has only taken my 4 years to realise why I came here, plan it and put it in to effect. That's a long damned time, y'know. But as it stands I'll probably start off in London, out to Bath and Bristol, Plymouth then to Cardiff. Up through Wales to Birmingham, then Liverpool and Manchester. After that I'd set off to Sheffield and Leeds then to Newcastle where I'd stay for a couple of days. Next off to Berwick-upon-Tweed on the train to Edinburgh. That's about as far as I've planned so far. That'll take me a good two or three weeks especially seeing as I want to explore Liverpool a bit more. Tentatively I'd also like to head off to Ireland and then to East Anglia (the eastern area of England!). If this all happens, however, is a different kettle of fish.

I also travelled to Poland in the blog hiatus. That was quite fun, I have to say. I'm surprised I survived as well as I did. Managed to get myself a quaint little hostel in the middle of the city and set up camp there for 9 days. I happened to meet some fairly good people and from there decided to expand my creeping territory. The place is amazing and I'm rather disappointed I didn't bring my camera along. I will definitely be going back to Warsaw. I also stopped off in Paris. Technically the airport but seeing as I stepped outside I count that as having visited. In a fantasy world I will meet some awesome people at a hostel I'm staying at and then we can all travel Europe! Yippee.

If money were no object I would buy myself a nice tent, a new sleeping bag and a waterproof jacket. The sleeping bag I have is slowly coming to a decline. The down is starting to get thin and separate so it's not keeping me as warm. The zippers are slowly starting to groan and creak. For 4 years service I think it has been exemplary and I won't soon forget the service and warmth that sleeping bag has offered me. I'm getting a little emotional. (not so much really...)

Well that's it from me. There's your quad-monthly update on the landside of a life I run. If you want a blurb style snippet here it is: I am alive and well and about to travel England. Yep, there you go. That's all you need to know.

Until next time, chaps and chapettes.

For Your Pleasure

2011-05-27T10:24:00.003-04:00

Well I had planned to make this a post about me beiiiing in the USA but that turned out to be FALSE. So since the last time I updated I've actually beeeeeen in the US but now I'm back in England. Woopety doo. I couldn't fathom how awesome it was while I was away so I decided to come back. All a matter of trial and error, I'm sure.

So what am I doing whilst I'm back here? Same thing I always am - FAILING. Well not constantly but... it's definitely there. I can feel it. Blech. I hate the post-travel blues. Not surprisingly I've felt not desire to go out anywhere and when I have I've felt that I do so begrudgingly. Something else I'm not entirely amused by is replacing all the things I lost whilst I were in States. I liked the phone I had so when I couldn't find it that really bothered me. However in a serendipitous turn of events the phone is unlocked so I can finally use my phone in the United States which, in the past, was a problem. Then there's the camera that I managed to misplace. I'm sure it will turn up at one of my favourite haunts. I'm going to wait on this. Until that time it may prompt me to get my other camera up and running. I liked the optical zoom on that. Plus I've had it since 2006/7 and may as well make use of it.

In the interests of syntax I'm going to make a paragraph break here.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog reading.

Yeah, right... regularly scheduled. Snort snort.

As it happens I wasn't chosen for the Green Card in their 'diversity lottery' which was pretty emotionally crippling. I managed that crippling emotional deficit by filling the void with alcohol. It was an incredibly effective way of suppressing/retarding my emotions. The unfortunate negatives included my money flying out the window and me being, at times, an absolute fiend to Chelsea. And I'm sorry for that, my dear. I wish to curse hindsight and begin to use more foresight.

YET through all that bureaucratic garbage there was hope on the horizons courtesy of a glitch in the selection process. Seems that anyone who was selected in the original drawing was more than likely chosen from the first two days of the initial application process. As such this lead the results to not be random and therefore they couldn't be used. After all:

Immigrant visa numbers made available under subsection (c) (relating to

diversity immigrants) shall be issued to eligible qualified immigrants strictly in a

random order established by the Secretary of State for the fiscal year involved.

Basically I'm really happy that I get another chance in the same year. Schadenfreude! That being said I really mustn't build my hopes up again as I'm not sure if my liver can take another sustained hit like that. Blech.

Something I've been genuinely considering in the last couple of months is travelling Asia. Big time travelling where blisters get their own blisters and very soon you forget that you spoke English and start speaking broken English so that you think the locals will understand you. So yeah. That could be fun. I'd like to head to India then make my way up to Korea. Orrrr as far as I can get before I die, am killed, run out of money OR decide that I can't do this on my own. Which I probably can't. In any instance I'll hopefully have a good friend of mine come along so at least that way I can make semi-informed decisions. Hopefully.

Well seeing as my PRESSING schedule of doing nothing is backing up I had best go about sorting out my mind. That could take all day or as little as five minutes. Who knows.

Until next time!

(whenever that is...)

Sunny Afternoon

2011-02-26T10:58:00.001-05:00

Oh, it's just a joke is that title. It's dreary, grey and hateful over here.

Anyway I hope to be starting this Couch to 5k programme. I need to do it. I need to stop being such a flabber.

That's about it. Also not spend so much money. Damn ADULTHOOD.

The Thin Line Between Love And Hate

2011-02-04T09:39:00.003-05:00

Seeing as I've been bartending for three years now (1 non-consecutive! Imagine that) I thought that I might enlighten people a little on what is and what isn't kosher when you're standing there, money in hand, waiting to be served. So with out further ado...

DO:

Know what you want before you come up umm'ing and errr'ing. There are often times when you may have been waiting to be served by me or one of my colleagues for up to 5 minutes and you're looking all antsy as if your drinks can't wait. Then when we ask you what you want you stumble over your words like there's a wheel clamp on your brain that leads right to your tongue. White wine and soda? Fine. I can do that. Just don't ever single order.
Help us out if you're ordering an archaic drink or some ridiculous cocktail/mocktail. I like to think that I've got a fairly decent grasp on popular drinks but if you're coming in asking for a "French Slipper" or "The Boatswains Mate" and I happen to look a little mystified don't roll your eyes and exhale angrily. For all I know you've probably made that drink up OR you're calling a fairly common drink by some other name. By the way I made those two drinks up. See...
Tip us. We're not expecting millions off you but giving us anything made of copper is almost equal to you spitting in our eyes. Sure those pennies add up (as Freudian slips go I wrote "those penis add up...) but only after about 40 years will we be able to afford that new iron lung that we'll be hankering for. I'm not sure what a bartender's wage is in the United States but the tipping over there is certainly enticing. That being said my old pub - The Midland - was amazing for tips. I guess it depends on location. Bloody Southerners.
Be patient with us and realise that we do know you're there. I'll definitely give you acknowledgment either a nod or a wink - both of which are just as good to a blind horse - or verbal acknowledgement: "I'll be with you in a second", "Be with you in two shakes of a dead lamb's tail", "Won't be a sec" or something similar. I know that a lot of my colleagues will do the same but there are some who will concentrate on the drink trying to ignore you. Please don't think we're all like that.
Make SOME effort for small talk. I know that a lot of people don't come to a bar to involve themselves in idle chit-chat but a grunt is definitely not an answer. I'm well aware that the days of a bartender polishing a glass while asking "Why the long face?" are on the wane. All I'm trying to do is develop a rapport with you. I am fine with not beginning a life long friendship but surely you'd like a nice "Hello" when you come in and have a freshly poured pint/wine/cocktail waiting for you. That being said don't ask us our parental heritage when you can see they we're busy. There's a time and a place, sunshine.

DON'T:

Be outraged when we don't have your favourite drink. I can certainly imagine that it would be a minor inconvenience but so is a hangnail or a stubbed toe. Broadening your gustatory horizons mightn't be your cup of tea but having a mini-tantrum because we've run out of a popular wine/beer/spirit is no reason for us to bear the brunt of your wrath.
Click, whistle, tap, sing or wave at us in hopes that you'll get served next. Even worse is saying "Yes, please!". As I've previously said most bartenders will acknowledge you and 99% of the time we'll get the ordering of service correct. As we are human and capable of error we may serve someone ahead of you but, as above, there's no reason for you to act overly distraught that you may have to wait another 30 seconds. The ultimate error is grabbing us or tapping us on the shoulder. This is the ultimate invasion of our space and you shouldn't be surprised if we refuse to serve you and/or have you ejected from the premises. That being said, most people are quite content in my service. I love you.
Destroy beer mats/coasters and/or make a mess that you wouldn't like in your own home. I absolutely refuse to believe people would live like this at home. Why would you want people around you to think you're a complete slob in your own nest? A note to parents: Either control your children or leave them in the company of someone who can. Just because you and your chums are guzzling enough wine to drown a very large gorilla that does not give you any allowance for letting your little ones to run amok through the establishment. Also if your baby/toddler is screaming his/her head off please take them away to calm them down. I'm not anti-child but when you're ignoring them and letting them scream their way to health and happiness that KIND of raises my ire.
Abuse us in any way, shape or form. Most of my colleagues are capable of telling when you're having a laugh or referring to an in-joke but the moment you turn nasty it's pretty much end game for you. We'll try and calm you down but if you you remain angsty we'll get the management and likely they'll ask you to leave. This includes the aforementioned physical abuse.
Ask for drinks after we're done serving. We have no legal obligation to let you know it's last orders; it's merely a courtesy call so you can stay indoors for another half an hour before we come around and ask you to leave. Trying to persuade me to let you have one last one after we have finished is very illegal. Not only can the company and I get fined but whoever has their personal license can potentially lose it. No, thanks. A substantial fine for a £3 drink just doesn't seem fair to me.

That's just the tip of the iceberg. Most of you are pretty good and I love to serve guests who are amicable and smiling. There's no sense in being rude. It gets you nowhere and will more than likely push you further down the service list. Just try and remember all of this the next time you confidently swagger up to the bar and lock eyes with the bartender

Until next time readers - take care

On The Road To Findout

2011-01-31T09:47:00.000-05:00

Because I'm just OVERLOADED with money (a banking error it seems!) I will be planning to go back to the United States around April time to stay a month with my loved one. You might be begging to ask "Cameron? But WHY would you want to do that after the last time you were there?". I would answer with "Well I'm glad you asked, loyal reader!". Then I'd probably trail off on a whole ton of reasons relating to love, the tyranny of distance and how often I get to see her vs. the density/quality of the stay. Basically those are things that a lot of you wouldn't understand! But anyway we'll all jump that hurdle when we get there. The rough outline is already planned in my head. Seems KLM is the airline to fly but reviews don't seem that amazing. Cheap airfare but shoddy service? I think I can deal with that. Especially after having spent 2 and a half days on a Greyhound bus from Nashville to Montreal. Oh, the fun I had then!

Hopefffffully I will be getting access to wireless internet and not have to use this dongle (snicker!). Then I can finally upload pictures of my Surrey adventure. Things are swinging pretty nicely. I am becoming satisfied with my life here which is kind of amusing considering my resentful comments when I got here. I said the same thing when I got to Cheshire though. AND LOOK HOW THAT ENDED UP! I wish this place had more of a bar area so people would come in and drink more. Shame that doesn't seem to be the case. However there is an Innkeeper's Lodge upstairs and too many rowdy drunkards wouldn't really sit well with the patrons upstairs. Like it or lump it, I think.

I would like to start building model aeroplanes. I wrote airplanes then. I'm somewhat disappointed in my semi-conversion to American words. I do, however, think it will be easier when communicating with people over there. I'll try and make a Yorkshire pudding for someone over there. Roast dinners, ahoy. Speaking of roast dinners or at least on the topic of food - I enjoyed a vegetarian haggis for the second time in my life but I boiled it? It was amazing! I included the neeps and tatties and they were just as good! Oh, Scotland. You call for me from the glens.

I'm pretty sure I should go and get myself ready for work now. Another eight hours of locking wits with cooks, people who drink Guinness and blackcurrant and the coffee machine. That machine is the bane of my life. Amongst many other things, come to think of it.

Take care, be ware.

Sick Again

2011-01-20T06:37:00.000-05:00

Just as a short update - I am sick. Horrible bloody sickness. Something is up with my guts and last night my brain thought I should have a quick purge NOT once but in fact twice. Thanks body.

In other news I happened to go to Staines yesterday which is where that lovable scamp Ali G lived. It wasn't as run down as I thought it was going to be. In fact there was a lovely little pub that I went to with some colleagues. It was called The Swan Inn and is owned by Fuller's which is one my pub's biggest rivals. Curse their amazing pub! The view, the beer, the people. Everything was great. I'm not being delirious either.

I expect at least 10 notes of sympathy from EVERYONE who reads this (I don't really but it would be nice! I'll sympathise with you when you're sick!)

Kisses to everyone and their legs.

Back in the Saddle Again

2011-01-14T13:38:00.000-05:00

Howdy folk! To make that a plural would be me being quite unrealistic. I guess it's just me reading this so I'm going to write as though I'm having a conversation with myself. These kind of things make me realise why I still own a haircut like I do.

I've been working pretty consistently at The Oatlands Chaser. It's not even a mark on the Midland but it's not so bad. The people I work with are alright but some of them are lugheads. Regardless I think I should be getting paid a decent penny at the end of the month. As it so happens I'll only get paid a couple of days before Australia Day and that will allow me to book my tickets overseas. Hopefully I will be gracing the shores of Belgium, France and Poland in the next three months time. It's part of my new 'get-the-hell-out-of-England' campaign. So far it's going well. Even going to London is amazing. It's new to me so I'm excited as a pig going to market to see new places. It's not so much that I'm getting to see them as it is that I get to see a new place. That's the best part! I want to go to the sea sometime. I forget what it looks like. I also want to go swimming in the Atlantic Ocean. I HAVE BIG ASPIRATIONS, OK.

Apart from that I'm going to be keeping my beard. I like it. It'll be a relic from the 70s. I really wish I could grow a moustache like my father but seeing as I can't/it's really weak I continue with it. If only people didn't hate them as much as they did I would be fine. There's a lot of follicle furore about this place but I don't care. I like it. Makes me look... older. I can deal with that. I have a baby face apparently so this is adding on the years that I so sorely need.

I want to move on from this place as soon as possible. That way I can see more of England. This place is nice but it's too rich for me. Money and I aren't amazing together. Although I am drinking champagne and eating caviar currently. I guess I'm being hypocritical. LAUGH.

Goodbye everyone. The point of the matter is to remain positive, love everyone and eat grilled cheese sandwiches.

Helter Skelter

2010-12-16T08:30:00.000-05:00

Oh, it's coming down fast alright. I've been in England for nearly a week and it's been fairly exciting. My first 4 days of work were all double shifts. I went from quite easy working back in Canada to working all day. It wasn't too bad. It did take me a little bit to get back in to the swing of things but I think I am regaining my composure. Shame these Southern sorts are tighter than a duck's backside. Verily I do declare that the only time that I have been on the end of a tip was when I said I had no 20p coins left to give. Goodness gracious me. This saving thing is going to be harder than I EXPECTED.

I can't think of too much else to say really. I would like to alert everyone that now I have a bed, a washing machine, fridge/freezer AND a stove. I'm moving up in the world, people! I think I might buy myself a plant so I can water it, take care of it and talk to it. One time I dressed a guitar up so it was like a person. That happened to coincide with the time that I was alone for two days. Apparently I need constant attention.

Right, I should go for a wander now. I do enjoy this place more than Marple Bridge. There's a Sainsbury's nearby! AND MORE STUFF! Also a Lloyds bank and many other useful establishments that don't require me to mountain climb up just to be disappointed when I get there (I hate Co-Ops...)

Tallyho, everyone. Be good, eat your vega-tables and don't slide everywhere. Use it for special occasions.

Something About England

2010-11-21T23:29:00.001-05:00

Unless you couldn't tell - I'm heading back to England. The pub I'll be working at is called The Oatlands Chaser. It's located down in Surrey and the job is courtesy of my old bartending buddy Jon Blundell. He is now the assistant manager at the pub I'll be working at. It is live in position and I'm really pleased about that. This way I can take pictures, come back, upload 'em and be back out soon. In between working of course. Oh yeah. I'll be working lots. That's the plan at least. If I plan to travel around Europe/America next year then I'll need to have some cash. Where did the bartering system go?!

I am alive and well. I recently went to Montreal in a flash of what seemed to be French lightning. It was good. It was amazing. It made me feel very needed and wanted by the folks at Reservoir when I turned up and had a beer in my hand within 10 seconds. That or they're supporting my alcoholism. Either way it was lovely.

Then I ended up in London, Ontario to see my old friend Kyle Reckman! That man made my last summer very bearable and introduced me to Christ so it was definitely win/win. He dived about 10 feet to come and hug me hello. It was very lovely. It is nice to feel loved by MEN. I'm not even making a euphemism. It's becoming quite apparent that people LIKE me? PEOPLE.

Well crazy as it seems I imagine the next blog entry will be from ENGLAND. Or just prior to going there. I've no idea what I'm going to say or do. It will be good.

Love to everyone.

5ive Gears In Reverse

2010-11-21T22:07:00.001-05:00

THIS POST IS BACK DATED SOMEWHAT!

VOID VOID VOID

Seems whenever I get up to Canada the posts dry up? Is it because I'm leading a dull lifestyle, one prone to being repetitive? Well, yes. I consider it a perk of the job. I mean to do the same thing every 3 days it has to be a perk, right? Or a curse? I do not profess to knowing!

Currently I'm injured and meant to be typing this with one hand but in secret I am typing with two. It's not so much the hand actually that hurts but the wrist. To give this story some context:

"I was taking a teacher tray (conical shape on the bottom, flat surface on the top; filled with goodies) up to the other building of the camp site. I managed that successfully but when I was returning down to the kitchen I happened up a wet patch on the stairs, slipped, regained my balance and then decided to slip again. Keeping the teacher tray in mind I moved it to protect it from me falling on top of it. Sadly that wasn't the case and I managed to collect the top of the tray with my nose and mouth whereas the bottom collected my thumb. The back of my wrist hit the ground fairly hard and at some point I've hurt my ribs from over extending in the fall"

- Cameron Cuming as told to Cameron Cuming

So it kind of sucked for all concerned. I tried to work but turns out that is not the greatest idea for wounds. Every minute or two I would be calling for another of the kitchen staff to be assisting me and that was extremely counterproductive so out I was rushed. There's a little bit of frustration on my behalf regarding worker's compensation. No working means no money, right? I would like a little bit of reparation. As hard to believe as it is - I would much rather be working right now than typing this. YES. I would. But instead I am not to be working so I can recover properly. I don't want an X-Ray either. There's no such thing as good radiation. Unless the result is super powers. Political super powers!

Apart from doing the same thing every three days for the last month, I have decided to go back to England in the middle of December. It's a good time. I've found a job that will pay me nicely and, especially during December, the tips will be flowly quite freely. My main concern is not having enough mental time off. Hopefully I will be able to take a whole lot of pictures while I am there. That's something I want to focus on. I'm not usually one for them but I'll be damned if I'm going to let my location dictate my photography.

So it will come about in an ugly way that I am returning to England. I'm returning to the place I so happily fled more than 18 months ago. I will go back with my tail slightly between my legs but I'm also quite open to the challenges this new venture will take. I am curious to whether or not I should continue OCamnada seeing as it was a blog set up to recount my adventures in Canada. Should I continue it as a personal blog or WHAT?! I am curious to what people think.

It has been a good adventure.

I Still Miss Someone

2010-09-25T16:16:00.001-04:00

Bonjour, eh? I'm back in Ontario. That's in Canada if you were wondering! So far it has been a blast. Well as far as Ontario's reputation goes for blast events that is. I stayed in Toronto for a couple of days, became reacquainted with the loathesome taste of dill pickle chips and sampled the night life of the capital. It was both boring AND interesting. Montreal and Vancouver traditionally have the party city labels (sorry Halifax, you didn't make the cut) while Toronto has the stern, business mentality of a 40 something executive. Still, when the sun goes down, the weirdness slowly creeps out of the flimsy cardboard box which restrains it. In the space of thirty minutes, I observed one gentleman attempting to derail a train, and another man trying to coax a dog to ride a bike. Both were met with extreme failure. Oh my. Still while I was out with my good friend Rick Danger (merely a nom de l'été!) we seemed to have quite a bit of fun and he helped me catch up on the doings of summer.

However, my intrepid and valued reader, the title of this post is I Still Miss Someone, not Some Place or Somewhere. Yes, that tyrannical feeling of loneliness has set in again. I could use all the appropriate words in all the languages in the World but it still wouldn't cover 1% of how I feel about her. I realise it seems completely selfish that I'm whining about how I miss my girlfriend when there's so much trouble in the world but I'd by lying if I said I could keep my feelings contained. This truly feels like the lowest I can go. Real low, man.

That being said I am back up in the Muskoka region working for my ticket out of Canada. It's all part of the master plan, you see. If I play my cards right I should be back in the UK for some part of December or early January. Then I'll be straight back in to working so I can travel Europe. I'm not sure if all or any of my friends are aware of this but I never actually set foot on the continent of Europe. The closest I managed was Brighton which is about 118km (73 miles). Couldn't even wave hello to France. So that will be a secondary little mission to achieve when I go 'home'. Strange as I never thought I'd call England home. It's a home as much as a place to keep my things. So I guess it's a house. Peter Allen was mostly correct. No matter how far or how wide I roam... I really still do call Australia home.

Oh, Johnny.

Now that syrupy portion of patriotism is out of the way, I feel I should give you all a reward for sticking through this long. According to blog stats there’s a couple of hits from Russia and Latvia. That amuses me greatly as I was trying to think why they might view my blog at all? Then it struck that I didn’t really care. A hit, for me, is a hit. I didn’t really think I’d become obsessed with people visit but I guess I am. Tell your friends, tell your family! Tell your deaf pets! So to this reward… you can figure to be a reward or punishment; whatever your fancy in music is! Just click on the picture to the left! You have only three guesses as to what this present might be! I'm quivering in anticipation!

But once again, brave readers, I must depart for greener grasses! It is raining and I fancy taking some pictures. I would have taken some earlier where it for lack of nice light. Oooh, look at me. Talking like a photographer. Very close by I can smell freshly cut wood and it's making me want to eat raisin bran. Off I go to take pictures and eat raisin bran! Until next time!

Cameron.

Slide Away

2010-09-17T16:47:00.000-04:00

Hello once again, faithful blog readers!

So it has been quite a number of days since the last time I updated! Time does indeed fly when you're having fun! FUN! I know the subject quite well! But the fun is soon to be ending as my time in the United States is once again coming to an end. Yes, three months has simply slid away like a rat up a drainpipe - that's quite quick for those of you who've never seen that happen. So I guess a SUMMERY is called for. I'm quite aware it's summary but I thought, seeing as I was here in summer, that it would be quite a clever little play on words there. If you don't appreciate it I will send you candy*.

Not too long after I arrived in the US the environment at the house I was staying at became a little unstable and, as such, I thought it better for me to not stay there anymore. I bounced around houses until Chelsea was able to find a lovely little apartment just near Music Row. That's the area famous for housing a load of music related businesses. It's quite fascinating really. So Chelsea and I chilled out there most of the summer. This summer was really quite hot and humid so we didn't really venture out that much. Heat, I can handle but when you factor in 90 degree heat with 90% humidity things become quite uncomfortable.

I spent a lot of this summer consuming alcohol. The beer down here really is delicious. Toward the end though I had to consciously put a hold on the thirst quencher. It seemed every time I went out I would come home less than sober. Not drunk, but not sober. I know that's one thing that I would have to deal with if I were to head back to England. However in a positive light I always thank my lucky stars that I'm not drinking whiskey or a spirit of any sort... though I could drink gin like it was water and I would drink water like it was chocolate milk.

During the later portion of the summer I had the grace to attend a Christian men's retreat aptly named, unfortunately acronymised Institute for Biblical Manliness. A group of 30 young men were split in to five units of 6 each with two older men acting as mentors. We were audience to a variety of speakers over the 4 day retreat. Each of the speakers addressed something pertaining to being a Godly man - integrity, courage, sexual strife, finances and a plethora of others I can't remember. It was amazing! I met a lot of good young men that weekend. Come to think of it I was one of the older 'young men' there. In fact I'm only a year younger than the the 'youngest' older man. But still it was fantastic to see what is achievable when you have God in your life.

Now I'm in Pennsylvania visiting my lovely, lovely friend Georg who is hard at work! Ladies, he's single too! I was meant to be here a couple of days earlier but as things panned out I was able to say goodbye to a group of friends back in Nashville. Amazing stuff.

However on the Canadian front I am not so sure what I will be doing. I don't intend to stay there long. As per my previous blog post I will very likely return to the UK. This may be hurried a long due to the money spending nature of Christmas. Bartending happens to be quite profitable during December. I do, however, want to make the most of my Canadian visa so I am not entirely sure where I'll be heading. Maybe New Brunswick? I can't tell anyone yet but when I do know I'll blog the heck out of it!

I'm wondering if I should do a deal of sorts that if people subscribe to my blog I will draw a picture for them! I would sign it and send it to them. That's a collectors piece right there! I'm just HUNGRY for people to delve in to my private life!

For now, young readers, I shall bid you farewell. I know it's been a rough journey and there were many emotions explored but I must travel now to a distant country where naked women are rife, the alcohol flows freely, insulin is legal and snow on the ground is looked at with a smug smile. Until next time!

_{*My imaginary lawyers have advised me to inform everyone that they will NOT receive any candy and will in fact be liable for any postage and handling involved in any processes ever. If legal proceedings are lodged against me then you will summarily be eaten by an entity of my choosing. Probably a Barghest}

Heat Wave

2010-08-09T07:38:00.000-04:00

I imagine I'll not be getting any messages of condolence from my friends back in Australia but I absolutely feel like I'm dying here in Tennessee. This coming week the temperature doesn't dip below 34°C or, for you crazy Imperial unit using people, 98° Farenheit. That's really uncomfortable. It's getting to that point where as soon as you go outside somewhere in your brain flicks a switch and says to the body "No, no. Sit on a block of ice". I want to put the blame on global warming but instead I'll put on the geography of Tennessee and the current orbit around the Sun. Why did I ever leave England? It's a yummy 17°C (63°F) with a healthy 77%. Ugh. Idiocy.

Temperatures aside my plans have now changed and I'm making plans to head back to the United Kingdom. After speaking with my close friends, family members and consulting my own musings I've decided that this leg of my tour has unfortunately cost me more money that I would have liked. I would rather return to Canada and enjoy my time there with money earned than to struggle around on credit and Canadian dollars. I'm not mocking nor devaluing the Canadian dollar. I'm simply stating that the amount of travel I'd like to do simply isn't able to be done. I've enjoyed my time travelling around Canada and the friends I've made have been superb. However I need to start thinking about my future (something I should have done maybe 10 years ago) and I feel that England is definitely the place. Cheers.

That being said I will be returning to Canada on the 15th of September. I'll be coming back in Montreal and I will then be heading to Toronto. At the moment I'm still needing a place to stay for a couple of days until I can sort my brain out. Any helpers?

Thanks once again.

Goodnight Tonight

2010-07-29T21:56:00.015-04:00

Well it's been just over a week since I went to see Sir Paul McCartney and it has taken me this long to soak it all in and consider how awesomely fantastic the show was. Yep. That long.

The McCartney concert was my first huge name concert and, thinking about it, you can't get much bigger than Sir Paul McCartney. Seeing him was something that I'd always dreamt of and to finally see him was amazing. In the space of two years I've managed to see the two musicians that I desperately wanted to. I was able to see Elvis Costello last year at Massey Hall in Toronto and that was also mind blowing. In the back of my head I was hoping he might make a surprise appearance with Sir Paul but unfortunately that didn't eventuate.

Regardless of my indifferent attitude throughout the day I teeming with butterflies in my stomach. I just didn't know how else to react until we were outside the Sommet Centre on Broadway in Nashville. Up until that night I had no idea what 20,000 people in one spot looked like but I'm sure it was a sold out show. The only criticism I have of the show was the fact that the souvenirs/t-shirt stand and the beer kiosks upstairs were in bothersome spots. However I doubt that Paul had anything to do with that.

As my blog doesn't even remotely resemble a music review (he is though - check it out) I won't bore you with most of details of the set list or which instruments he played. Had I known that those sort of details were available on Wikipedia I probably would have been less enthusiastic about going or, at least, I would have kept turning to Chelsea and saying 'This is going to be [song x]. Pretty annoying. Instead Paul and his band really, genuinely surprised me. They opened with Venus and Mars/Rock Show which was awesome because I don't think too many people expected that. I've just had a gander at the set list again and he ended up playing 20 Beatles songs which which is odd because it didn't seem like that many. Two other unusual songs he played were 'Letting Go' and 'Ram On'. Apparently there were some people down the front with requests for it. If I knew that worked I would have asked for 'In Spite of All the Danger' or, as Chelsea reminded me seconds ago, 'Calico Skies'. There were a couple of acoustic breaks where I thought he'd give it a bash. What he played was fantastic though.

The crowd was certainly enthusiastic and I couldn't smell any pot. Surprisingly. I think it was pretty equal parts older folks to younger kids. In fact I was sat behind a teenage wunderkind who hooted and hollered at every single song. At first it mostly annoyed me but then I realised I was doing the same thing after the song so we ended up meeting eye to eye on the noise level. The dance fuel alcohol made a less than suprising appearance in the crowd but no one embarrassed themselves. I hate to say it but Monday night was indeed just one of those feel good times.

To complete the surprising night Paul noticed a sign down the front that said "I want to play a song with you". It belonged to a young Mexican kid. Paul, in his playful mood, said "Do you really want to play a song with us? Pressure's on man!". After a couple of seconds Paul invited him up on stage and then said to the band "I wonder what he's going to play?". He asked the dad "Hey Dad, what does he play? Guitar? Anything? I don't know!". Getting no answer and upon finding out the boy was Mexican Paul said told him to dance while the band played. In his very best Spanish of course. The band jumps straight in to 'Get Back' and the kid does indeed start dancing. This is no ordinary dance though. It looked as if he was stuck in the first stage of the chicken dance - arms tucked in the side, knees together and swinging the hips from side to side. I don't think he cared though. He was rocking out. He took the opportunity on stage to sing with Paul. The kid went from being unknown Mexican boy to schoolyard famous in under 30 seconds. I did wonder if the little guy went back stage later on.

Paul also signed the back of a young lady in the audience who had a Hofner bass tattoo. It was becoming the Paul McCartney Show and it was certainly entertaining. He thought it was a pretty decent tattoo and, when she turned around for him to sign, said he could get in to a lot of trouble for this. As he went in to sign he leant towards the microphone and said "Jimmy... Buffett". Tricky, Paul. Tricky and mean. They finished off with 'Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club' and 'The End'. What impressed me about 'The End' is they didn't play note for note off of the album. Instead all three guitarists got to show off their chops off and it was awesome. Amazingly, fantastically, wonderfully, awesome. Everything was as it was meant to be.

I will admit I cried a couple of times during the show. It was good though. Definitely not a saddened cry but one like so many people before me have shed. While I was crying I kept thinking of all the teenage girls in the 60s (many of were probably watching Paul now) screaming, shouting, crying and baying for more Beatles. I used to think how stupid it was that they were crying over something so joyous. Now I'm aware of why they did.

If I get another chance to see Sir Paul McCartney then that would be all shades of brilliant. If I don't then I'm more than happy I got once chance to do so.

I'll Sail My Ship Alone

2010-07-20T21:49:00.001-04:00

Howdy chaps and chapettes. Let me update you on what's going on with me in Tennessee. It's mostly fun and thirty percent excitement and that equals a whole load of throwing up!

My being here in Tennessee has ruffled some feathers and, as of July 19, has caused Chelsea and I to move out of the Bennett household. As it so happens I have been accused of fondling Chelsea, snooping in the belongings of those I love and being disrespectful to those in the Bennett house. As it happens I don't believe that I'm guilty of any of the accusations and that Chelsea is being unfairly treated. As it happens she's finally moved out to an apartment in the Nashville area. It's beautifully located in Hillsboro Village and just near everything I love about Nashville. Finally there's public transport in to Nashville and I really like that. There's also Taco Mamacita literally down the road and they are the only people I know who serve Sue. It's like eating a fireplace but in a very yummy, delicious way. I'm wondering how much of my arm I would get cut off in order to get a pint. Probably up to the elbow.

Surprise wise I managed to spook Chelsea with a surprise party on Saturday! I cooked up some delicious guacamole, an Irish bruschetta (feta, orange pepper and green tomato), baked mushrooms with sweet potato, oregano and goat's cheese and a Guinness cake with a Baileys frosting. Everything went well and I was really happy that Chelsea was surprised because with out 'surprise' it's not even close to being a surprise party. I still need to get her present but I'm sure she'll like it. She's my darling girl.

Existentially I am having some trouble coping with my eventual death but I'm hoping that's some time in the future. Like at least 3 years. Five at the real outside. I'm not sure if I should stay in Canada, go back to England or return home to Australia. It truly is frustrating when you realise that you're 24, you've 'travelled' the world (i.e. gone to England, drunk yourself silly, realised Canada's a viable option, flown over there, drunk yourself silly and then wondered why you're still a virgin) and then you decide to scratch your backside and figure out which way your life is going? To be honest I have no idea and I'm certainly not going to offer any clues here. I imagine that I'll probably figure out a temporary solution and I'll be happy until the next time I take my clothes off for a shower. I'm getting to an age where I can't afford to fart about and hope to get away with it. Currently I'm being shown far more reasons to go home than to stay. I don't know, intrepid readers. I really just do not know.

On a positive note I am getting a haircut. Everyone is in love with haircuts! I really don't think you appreciate a haircut until you leave. They should make you pay, let you leave and then ask how it is. At least that's how I go. I'm one for complimenting the hairdresser no matter how the cut is. I truly believe in self preservation and if I were to air my true feelings about how a haircut has gone I think I'd probably been more bloodied. I have issues with them apparently. Who ever writes a blog paragraph about hairdressers. Me?

So I'm still alive although it may not seem like it. I'm struggling, at times, to deal with reactions and emotions from people who I am supposed to know quite well. I've never really had to deal with much drama and, to be honest, I don't like it. I feel that if I were to return to Australia I would be much calmer. There's something about America where everyone feels like there emotions are substantially more valid than someone else walking down the street. I think there's just a calmer demeanour in Australia. There's certainly drama but not to this extent.

I don't feel like I should be this evil, moustache twirling, madam-strapped-to-the-tracks effigy that I'm currently being portrayed as. I really would like to live my life as drama free as possible but, as I'm soon discovering, it may seem to be difficult when you're dealing with other humans. I honestly can't let this continue. I can't let my reputation and, as an extension of my own being, my girlfriend's reputation be muddied by people who are too indolent to figure out a way of contact. If I were to be brutally honest I would wish for a line-up of people who have besmirched my character while I've been down in the United States and just have a brief moment of their time to either slap them or to talk them out of their ludicrous, fictitious world they've created. Either way I'd be sufficiently happy to leave this country.

Don't think of me as angry, regretful or just plain rude. I'm not and if I were then I'm sure that I would have more enemies. It's saddening for me that I've tried to be nice and it seems like there's somewhat of a neutron star effect going on where all that I've 'created' with this nice façade has suddenly come back to bite me square on the arse cheeks. I'm wondering what would have happened if I had tried to be cruel to people. If I had not considered their feelings whatsoever or, at least, tried to manipulate them to act like my little puppets. I'm sure I'm capable of that but I'll be damned if I'll be drawn in to acting like that toward people. No thanks.

On a positive note I can go to get tacos any time I want. It's a shame I don't really like tacos. I'm more of a burrito man. They're the less messy, more delicious tasting equivalent. I'm really wary of trying these soft tacos. If I want hard burritos I'll just leave them out for a day or two! No thanks. Burritos > Tacos. That should be a shirt. This playful dinosaur is showing the exact opposite emotions to the ones that I'm feeling currently. More like "Make Me A Burrito!'" am I right?

The Longest Time

2010-06-16T10:42:00.004-04:00

Wow, turns out I've not updated for over a month! My apologies to the few people that do read this. Judging by my last bloggage things have changed quite a bit and it's all for the good! Let me explain.

Instead of heading the Boston route that I had mentioned my plans changed somewhat. The brewer I work with invited me to help out at his wedding and, for one of the few times ever, I had no words to express my delight. This is a man I genuinely respect and he has mentored me in the ways of brewing beer. He's a veritable fountain of brewing knowledge and it's quite humbling to listen to him fire off about phenylethanols, mash tuns and about every hop species ever used. So I'm off to his wedding to serve plates to his guests, cut bread and wash dishes. I think so at least. I'm not too sure on what I'm doing exactly. Whatever it is I'm sure it will be fantastic.

Going to the wedding cut my original plan to go to Boston/New York/Philadelphia but, in the end, I'd much rather go see this man get married. I can always head out that way later on. Which brings me to the point of where I'll be heading next? Well I'll still be heading the United States in less than a week's time to see Chelsea's brother get married. Two weddings in less than a week? Ha. Before leaving Australia I'd only seen one person get married. Since I've left Australia I've been to 5 - three in the US, one in England and one in Canada! After I go to the States I'll becoming back up to Ontario for a base to figure out where I'm going next. All the provinces are on the cards and I really do need to make up my mind where I'll be heading next. Maybe Nova Scotia, maybe New Brunswick, MAYBE even Saskatchewan. No matter how much people hate it, I still want to see it.

It's all come about in a very fast manner and I'm kind of scared about that. Time just walks away however it likes! Dang old thing

I want to get another tattoo. On my right arm. I think I'd like to get the same thing everyone else does and get a label to my heritage. A thistle would look good! Or a lion rampant Gules armed and langued Azure within a double tressure flory counter-flory of the second! Yes, yes! I have no idea what any of those words mean but it would look good. However it remains to be seen how my financial situation will hold up. I'll be a millionaire one day.

Best go out and buy a book and some headphones. It'll be a long couple of hours flying to Tennessee. Anyone bother recommending me books I should peruse? Headphones wise I'm going to pick up something cheap AND ones you insert in your ear....although again if I had the money I'd buy some nice, nice big fluffy ones and pretend to the world I can't hear them!

Until next time! I'll add me up some pictures for the next post, I PROMISE.

Most Likely You Go Your Way (And I'll Go Mine)

2010-04-15T10:37:00.003-04:00

Hi chaps! Long time no speak so I think it's time for people to indulge in what's going on in my life! Yes, I'm that self indulgent of myself. Anyhow the job is still going quite smoothly. Having money to actually pay for food, rent, bills is great! I can't think what I would have done had this not come along. It's brilliant for the reasons I've already told you folks! But on to the better news...

I'm going to Boston! The idea is there. I want to either hit it on the way down to Tennessee or, if I have the brains, on the way back up. I'm pretty excited about that. Boston is some place that holds a mystical, enchanting hold on me for a reason I can't figure out. It's like Boston is the guy in the trench coat offering up candy and I'm the 7 year old boy who doesn't know any better! It's going to be great. I just need my passport back! That's a long story and I'm sure I'll expand on it another time.

So in just over a month I'll be attending the wedding of my lovely girlfriend's brother. I'm so happy that I get to be there and I'm even happier about the weather. Even though I've no idea what it's going to be like I'm hoping it will be a lovely, sunny day for both of them to remember it by. I cannae wait but I know I will have to.

I also now have a camera (and have had for several weeks! I need to update more often). So when I figure out the complexities of Flickr I'll post a link on here so you can all gawk at my pictures. That'll bring the crowds in! Yes it will!

Hopefully you all are still alive and can read this. I should sleep now. It's almost 6:00am and I need to sleep at least 10 hours before I can be truly happy. Cheers to you all/whoever reads this. You'll be well rewarded one day.

Welcome to the Working Week

2010-03-29T12:09:00.003-04:00

Hey chaps and chapettes!

I am a happy, happy person! Go ahead! Ask me why! When else would I have ever used 4 exclamation marks? Never. Absolutely never. Anyhow as I digress heavily from the point I would like to exclaim to Montreal that I have a job. And it's a good job! I'm currently one of 4 dishwashers at a bistro called Reservoir. It is a fantastic place to work for a couple of reasons.

1) Beer is brewed on the premises. Microbrasseries are fairly common around here but I think I am on to a winner. There's 6 currently available and, after a quick session with quality assurance testing, I can vouch that they are the tastiest beers in Montreal. Nothing commercial compares. I have become a heavy admirer of Nathan. He's the brewer. I love him. He is extremely passionate about beer and is knowledgeable to the max. Plus he's got an awesome sleeve of tattoos with hops! It's what he loves!

2) The people are good. There's no obvious animosity between anyone. No one is overly critical and the people who are Quebecois will talk in English to me and occasionally in French so I can learn some appropriate words. Plus from the servers I get tips and tips are good.

3) It's close! Down the road close which is good. I can walk there and back so that's a tiny bit more exercise I get. Yay.

So I think I'll just scrape in rent this time. NEXT month should be better. More tips, more earnings and I should be home free. I would like to go to Ottawa or Quebec City while I'm here so I can say I've seen more than Montreal. Also I'm aware the Ottawa isn't actually in Quebec so don't worry too much about tell me.

I am happy for a change. Please don't worry!

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

2010-03-11T13:37:00.005-05:00

I need to leave Quebec! I can't keep going on with this meagre existence. Plus I've got bugger all money left and I don't want to live on credit. No, that's a really bad idea. I have gone through several moods this week. Monday was ecstatically happy, Tuesday was tearful, Wednesday was in the middle (and a little bit suicidal!) and Thursday, so far, is going well. I want to go somewhere and see something. UPS is being an arse so I will have to deal with them further.

I don't know what to do. It is exactly like the Clash pondered - should I stay or should I go? If I go will be trouble in relocation and travel fares AND finding a job but if I stay there will be double the shitstorm there should be. I really don't know what to do with myself. Oh, boo. I am 23 and I'm having this massive existential crisis in the middle of Montreal. How bad is my life? Not that bad but I would like to be speaking English rather than French.

That's enough from me today. Just letting you know I'm around. I need to go to Church on Sunday. I need more God in my life.

Destroy the U.S.A

2010-03-02T10:28:00.003-05:00

No, no friends! I have not become anti-American all of a sudden! Far from it in fact! I simply say this to satiate all my Canadian readers who will, with no doubt, still be reeling at their victory over the United States in ice hockey! Yes! Even I watched the game and it was excellent. Tense moments, great saves and awful misses all made up the better half of an afternoon. That was my first ice hockey game and I'm quite pleased that it was. Who knows? I might even get to liking it full time. Probably not though. The 3-2 score was well deserved to the Canadians. They were pleasant in victory! Thanking the Americans, pardoning themselves for being a little noisy. They really are too polite sometimes!

In other news I am still morbidly out of work. How it stinks! I worked 4 hours dishwashing at an Italian restaurant on Friday for a plate of Penne arrabbiata which, in itself, wasn't too bad. I would have much rathered money though. I have had no reply from them yet so I am a little disenchanted with everything. Still I need to keep my chin up if I want to continue breathing. It would definitely be nice if something just fell in to my lap. Alas I may have to wait a little longer for that to happen.

I hope everyone is well and currently out of prison.

Letter in the Mail

2010-02-27T12:23:00.003-05:00

Oh yes. If it so happens that you sent me your address with the expectations of getting a letter AND you read this don't be dismayed. I have mostly written the letters. Two things are stopping me.

1) The rates in Canada to send mail to England and Australia are absolutely extortionate. Especially in Montreal.

2) As you may have gathered in my previous blogging adventure my pockets do not jingle so heavily when I walk. I can't be affording to send off 10 letters. Sad but oh so true. Were this back in England and the Royal Mail were handling my letters then sure. Mail is cheap there but I'm afraid not for a little bit longer. Please hold up and don't stand outside waiting for your mail!

Love to all. Except that one French girl last night who rudely pushed past me.

20 Years of Snow

2010-02-27T11:00:00.003-05:00

Ugh. Damn you Montreal, damn you Canada, damn you North America and the Northern Hemisphere.

There we go. All my anger out in one sentence, two commas and a whole lot of vitriol. I don't know what's up with me. Oh yeah. The job thing. Ha, almost forgot about that! Anyway things in GENERAL are not too bad. I am still alive, I'm still eating (not that I need it) and I still have the use of my arms and legs. So what's the deal? I'll tell you what the deal is...

I have actually had replies from jobs but only one working shift at an Italian restaurant. I shan't tell you the name but I will say that it's the first and only time I've seen people smoking in a kitchen. It's not actually inside the kitchen, it's in a wee corridor to the left but they will come in with cigarettes, leave them laying on the counter while they are smouldering and well that's just not cool. So I guess I am at a crossroads. Do I leave for another area in Canada with a cheaper apartment? Do I find a job that has staff accommodation? Do I stay here and just pray, pray that something comes my way? I don't know. That's a lot of roads to look down?

There's a job that I wouldn't mind having a crack at but I'm absolutely terrified I may get. It's one in Yukon Territory in a little town called Teslin. I think it has about 400 people living there. It's on the Alaska Highway and it's a motel/camper park. So might not be the most glamorous job but it pays well. Sadly that's what I need to start thinking in. Money. And I don't like that I have to. I'm keen on travelling back to the UK perhaps at the end of the year so, in a short mathematical sense, I need money to do so. Then what will I do? Oh, bugger off. I don't know already.

So that's my daily/hourly/minutely whinge for the time being. People who pray, please pray for me. People don't, please hope for me. People who prey, don't eat me. I kind of would like this snow to stop though. It's fun at first but in the movies they never show you the terrible after you must deal with. TWICE I put my foot in to a puddle and TWICE I had my shins a nice little ice bath. Great. I should probably get myself some boots but I can't care too much. Money is something I just don't have an abundance of at the moment.

I guess it is nice that hindsight has this 20/20 vision. At least I can look back on the things I have done since leaving Australia and not the dumb dumb things. I have to admit this wasn't an inspired idea. That's right. You can quote me on that. Or paraphrase. I don't mind whatsoever. Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel. I need to weasel my way out of this. Sad because I like to stay with things for a little bit even if I hate it! Except for bricklaying. Did not stay with that too long, did I? Never mind.

Currently I would like some olive and/or artichoke bread. Mmm. If you sniff the bread in the bag you can actually eat it without ACTUALLY eating it. I learnt that and I feel pleased with being awarded that knowledge. Stop eating like a fatso, Cameron. Weird how even though I'm devastatingly poor I still eat like... Duke? Maybe. Definitely not a King. Perhaps and Earl or a Baron.

Have fun people with this. I really don't think anyone cares about my babblings. They don't have pictures to look at and make hilarious comments. Oh, you snobs. Soon, soon. I know I keep saying that but I can guarantee it will happen before 2150. Bit of leeway there. Chances of it not happening still pending though.

I'm Waiting For The Day

2010-02-23T15:31:00.002-05:00

Stop the presses.

Well not literally but you can stop them if you want. Just so I can keep everyone up to date:

1) I've not yet got a job but I'm working on it. Winter was not the time to come here unfortunately. So I thought snow would mean jobs in the ski area? It's getting to that time where it's the mid-season turnover and a lot of current employees will be toddling off somewhere. There's also a couple of jobs in quite remote locations that I'm going to apply for. Why not? It's not like I've got a pressing schedule to attend to and it may help me get my brain in order. A pretty big order but stranger things have happened.

2) For the time being I have a big, black dog and we get a long pretty well. He's a little dopey but I like him still. He's a wee pup of only seven months so he's still got some learning to do but he can sit, lay down and give. At least that's all I know of what he can do. I think he constructs model aeroplanes when I'm out then deconstructs when I'm out.

3) Did I mention the job fiasco? Oh...well please see number one on this list.

Other that it's a fairly bleak day in Montreal. Too much snow! It seems to have melted mostly away and now we're back to yesterday afternoon. I'd sorely like to see the Sun but my glowing optimism and my radiant personality must make up for it somewhere!

Goodnight, God bless and kiss goodbye to the Earth.

P.S Anyone got a spare digital camera they don't use? Send it to me.

So It Goes

2010-02-21T10:16:00.003-05:00

I have to admit days are not being spent happily in Montreal. I need cash and a job. One provides the other. I spent 3 days in Toronto and realised how much happier I was. People were speaking my language! I'm not trying to be ignorant of the French at all. It's just proving to be very difficult to get a job with out being fluent in French. Also I have not come in the best time for jobs. People love summer! So I need to find A job, any job to tide me over until summer. Don't think I've not been trying for a job. I have blisters on my feet from walking all over Montreal. I've never walked this much ever! Walking's my thing!

So I'm going to put my fingers in a couple of other pies and see how that goes. Hopefully very succesfully even if it does mean a relocation of province! You mean I have to leave Quebec? Ohhh, drat! Look out Greyhound! Here's another chance to lose my baggage!

I hope everyone is well. I am struggling a little bit but I am otherwise fine. Anyone know a really good recipe for nachos?

My love to all.

Walking On Thin Ice.

2010-02-08T17:28:00.002-05:00

Since people are probably more interested in pictures than words I will just say this

I got an apartment.

Yeah! I will post pictures when I can but get happy!! for me!

Look For Me (I'll Be Around)

2010-02-05T19:31:00.004-05:00

I am finally in Montreal! Instead of the day and a half that it was meant to take I was actually on the bus for three days. I can tell you that three days on a bus feels fairly limiting. In fact it feels like I think gaol (jail to you Yankee types) might be like - noisy, smelly people around you, limited personal space and cabin fever certainly starts to kick in. Only now am I starting move around a little freely. Thanks Greyhound! I really am contemplating a complaint letter. Why not?

I have made inroads with jobs and apartments. I am going to have a look at an apartment tomorrow or Sunday. That is making me feel very much grown up which is becoming somewhat of a rarity. I would really like to find myself a bar tending job. If I could pursue something the beverage industry as a job OR even a career that would be fantastic. Yeah, that's the dream!

It is becoming apparent though that I will need to know at least some French and at least in a functional sense. Knowing little bits and pieces of French will not work in my favour and could indeed hinder me. I imagine that sometime during my stay I will sign up for some French courses so at least I can serve customers. If they see I'm struggling I've been told that most French speakers are able to speak some English. Handy! A good question is why did England not try harder to ditch the French out of Quebec? Please send me your ideas why!

Whilst I'm in this neck of the woods I would love, Love, LOVE, LOVE to head out toward the Maritimes. From what I can gather it is like Ireland in an American setting. Plus they some pretty cool accents and that is the locale for English style bitter. Oh my. Disadvantages include the weather and the Americans but I am sure I can deal with both of these quite well!

Something on my mind (but definitely not a priority!) is a camera. There is certainly two groups of thought on this. One is to remember what I've done and where I've been. The other is to show the parents and friends back home how good the rest of the world is! But like most other things in my life this can wait!

Speaking of waiting I do NOT want to wait for Chelsea (check her blog out!) to get back. I love that girl so very much and I have to admit it has been difficult to separate myself from this love. I know I have done this before and you would think that doing just once more would be easy. It isn't. She's in Poland doing God's work and that's just awesome for me.

Hopefully my next update will be in the 'very positive' category. Job and apartment would be great but either one or the other I am happy with!

Edit: Here is the place that I'm looking at. A nice enough place for a lad like me, I think!

There She Goes

2010-02-01T11:57:00.001-05:00

I'm off today! Apprehensive and biting at the nails. I'll be ok!

See you soon, Montreal.

Pictures of Me

2010-01-25T23:01:00.002-05:00

To make up for all the fun times I had at camp and have no photographic evidence I have now gathered up most of what I can find of me and put them on flickr!

It's mainly to prove that

a) I was in Canada
b) I was at Camp Muskoka in Canada

So I hope you enjoy these. I certainly had a very good time being in them.

Hopefully SOMEONE reads this!

See You Soon

2010-01-23T22:17:00.003-05:00

Howdy again (so soon!?)

Not sure if everyone's aware but once I've got this up and running properly - you know with actual updates and photos - you can receive e-mail notices if you're a follower. That's a silly word so I think I've renamed it 'You Still Believe In Me'. All of my post titles are song names and even the blog title is from an album by Paul McCartney. I just thought follower sounded too pushy.

Anyway if you've got a twitter account or use Gmail you can follow me by signing in with those accounts. If you don't then it's a fairly easy sign up process!

If you don't know what you're looking for then it this bad boy to the left is what you want!

Cheers.

All Of My Friends Were There

2010-01-21T14:32:00.002-05:00

Hello there, young internet viewers!

I can't recall if I have posted these or not! Tragically I am far too busy (gathering dust) to check! I'm sure there's at least one person reading this who will enjoy my pictures.

My first couple of days in Toronto were not without trouble. Apart from the culture shock I was experiencing there was a protest against two former U.S Presidents. Bill Clinton and George Bush were arranged to do some public speaking and this didn't sit too well with the Canadians. Oh no, Hell hath no fury like an angry Canadian, let me tell you. If you live near the U.S/Canada border you can actually hear them sharpening their ice skates.

Enraged at this public speaking engagement this rowdy mob intended to throw their shoes at Bush and/or Clinton in a re-enactment of the shoeing incident that Bush had experienced in Baghdad. I'm not sure whether or not they ended up achieving their goal. I'm guessing they didn't as there was nothing on the news or in any sort of print.

Strictly for your enjoyment only.

Toronto Protest

Home in Heaven

2010-01-19T00:23:00.003-05:00

Well chaps it's time to put an end to this American journey. It's been plenty of fun. I've not travelled as much this time but it's of no real consequence. After slogging my guts out over summer it's nice just to laze around. Sure my belts are getting tighter and shirts fit a little snugger than before but that's what exercise is all about. I'm sure there's a definition in the dictionary I can follow.

I'll be heading back to Canada on the 1st of February. I leave Nashville at 6:05PM and I'll get back to Canada on the 2nd. Some time in the morning. It'll be a long trip but I don't think I've got too many long stop overs. That's fortunate! Then when I'm back in Toronto scratching my head I'll find a place to get some nosh and at 11:45AM I'll be on a bus heading to Montreal. Yep, I'm travelling across the country to Quebec.

Tragically I don't know too much about Quebec. French people and that's about it. I'm hoping this bleak Australian view of such a beautiful province can be shattered. Sure they're French and sure my knowledge of French amounts to telling people I am a train station. Not really practical in this situation, I'm afraid.

Learning French will be something I'd like to do while I'm there. I'd also love to get back in to shape. At least a different shape. Round just isn't cutting it for me. I'm probably going to write a list of activities and sights I'd like to see. Be active. Y'know - like normal people are? A laughable concept but just you wait, netpeople!

However I have wasted enough of your time! Precious time from important people! Hopefully I'll be updating this a little more often and considering I'll be back in Canada full time that seems like a very reasonable demand.

Leaving This Town

2009-11-01T12:29:00.003-05:00

For the one person interested...

...I'm leaving Canada for a bit to go visit my loving girl, Chelsea, down in the United States. I'll be there for a bit so that will be sufficient time for me to sort out where I want to go next. I'm tossed up between heading west for snow, liberty and Montana or trundling across East to Montreal to spice up my life with the French and New England? I don't know but I certainly don't want to limit myself to just one area of Canada. In my pea brain I want to make my way to Vancouver, buy a car and drive up to Alaska. I don't even care how long it takes. That would be something that I could certainly blog about.

In other news I'm somewhat in the need of a camera. I'm looking online because I know I've had some great things to take pictures of during the summer but simply haven't. I had one when I came but I lost the bleedin' thing. Not so bad. I hated it. I'm ready to forfeit the £60 it cost me. Rather buy something I enjoy using than a lump of metal I don't.

So I'll be keeping you updated from America. I imagine I will buckle and purchase a camera OR I'll get the one I currently have repaired somehow. I loved that like a baby. It was mine and mine alone. Plus it was fun to take out and annoy people with.

Cheers person-who-reads-this-most-often.

The Last Time

2009-10-10T17:31:00.004-04:00

I did not anticipate the hungry crowd to bay for more blog posts. It was my impression that they had grown tired of my endless rambling about the smallest things. Oh dear. Well I've had almost 4 months to do some things and I guess I've done some fairly interesting things.

I made some very awesome friends (KYLE RECKMAN).
I enjoyed the Canadian summer
I accepted God in to my life
I became the baker of a summer camp
I discovered that not all North American lager is awful
I considered several travel options, two of which I will probably undertake
I rode a horse. It was fun
I didn't photograph a single thing. I'm too caught up in the loss of my old camera.
I saw a squirrel, a chipmunk, a deer, a garter snake and three million black flies and mosquitos
I had a vision which was fairly scary and a dream that I'll always have. Could have been anything

And now I'm coming to the end of my stay here at Camp Muskoka. Have I enjoyed it? I have mixed feelings about it. Working nights as the baker gave me a lot of freedom. It was my own time to do what I wanted with. I was quite responsible and got my jobs done on time. It did, however, mess up my days. I didn't really have too much of a mental calendar going on but I did...well I was going to say figure it out but it was pretty simple when I got going. What did that sentence even mean? No one knows and I doubt they ever will.

I decided to come back to summer camp. If not for the shirt then definitely for the people. Muskoka 10. Should be a good shirt. I'm just hoping that the people who I enjoyed company with come back next year. I don't know if I want to be back in the kitchen though. I'm hyperventilating just thinking about it. I can't work with the kids though due to the parameters of my visa. Lucky me.

Where am I off to next? I'm thinking that Montreal, Calgary or Vancouver are the places I'd like to go. Again it's something I will have to engage in serious thought about. Y'know the sorts where you stay awake at night fearing for your life and might come after the present? Yeah, that sort.

I still miss Australia. Yes, I do. I'll probably come back one day, dear, but until then I'll ply my trade in other countries. So far I can bake bread and pull a pint. Next I might try teaching people how ski. Crash and die option freely available too!

Not too sure on if this post was funnier but it was certainly longer. I intend to keep you updated on what I am or am not doing. As it happens I imagine there will quite a lot of the latter. So just stay tuned, vigilant readers, for more terrifying tales of my terrific travelling!

By the title lends to me attempting update this blog thirty three times. At least it feels like it. Goodness gracious

Getting Better

2009-06-27T13:45:00.002-04:00

It IS getting better all the time. Very short update to let everyone know that I've got a job at Camp Muskoka in Ontario and everything is swell. The cattle prods I don't approve of but never mind. I'm sure I can tolerate two months of that.

A longer, rather funnier update shall follow. I tell the truth!

One Day (At A Time)

2009-05-26T20:19:00.003-04:00

Not content with not having a job... I decided to get off my laurels and do something about it. I got 25 resumes printed out and managed to get rid of 6. Not a huge number I know or even a relative percentage in the business world but I'm quite pleased with myself. I've become reasonably fearless about going in places. I'd rather tell people I'm looking for a job as opposed to "I don't have a job!". I need money. No doubt about that. I need to be reasonably shrewd with my money. At the moment I'm going under the idea that I need to 'spend money to make money'. That's only if, at some point, you replenish that other money some how. Doesn't matter how, just so long as it happens.

To summarise: I'm much happier than I was 6 days ago. Six days ago I was feeling awful, I'd just left Chelsea and everything was coming tumbling down around me. I wasn't happy. Fast forward almost a week and I'm still somewhat unhappy but I'm beginning to spread my wings a little and get out, see the place, understand what's what. I'd still much rather be living in Tennessee but unfortunately I can't live there (at the moment!). Fortunately I can fly straight from Toronto to Tennessee. Costs a little bit more but definitely worth it. I love her.

That was an awful long summary!

Hooray for That Little Difference!

2009-05-21T12:33:00.002-04:00

I've done the first big boy thing I needed to!

I set up my bank account. I've been told where to shop and what to do so I think I'll be ok. I just need a job now. Mmm, that could be harder to achieve than I originally thought? Maybe.. I don't know. Time will tell, time will tell.

Cheers from Toronto.

I Feel Much Better

2009-05-20T12:36:00.002-04:00

Pretty short update.

I'm sitting in Charlotte International Airport awaiting the loud man to say "Good afternoon, we are now boarding Flight 1688 to Toronto, Ontario". I assume that's what they'll say at least. Regardless after that is said I imagine I will evacuate my bowel AND bladder at the same time so it will appear I'm like a seagull. It's terrifying and I've got a dry feeling in my mouth but I think I can sort it out. I'm like that. However it is over a weekend so I could be in trouble. Oh well.

To all my friends who read this - mum and maybe Georg (?) - make sure I don't drink my skeleton juice. Hhowp.

I'm So Tired Of It All or: Everything's Okay

2009-05-12T15:49:00.000-04:00

It's now 8 days before I head off to Canada and guess what? I'm not looking forward to it that much. It could be because I don't have a place to stay? It could be because I don't have a job? I don't know. It's a vicious, vicious cycle. I need a place to stay to return to after a hard day of looking for a job, I need a job to pay for the houe, I need a bank account for the money from the job to go in to so I can pay for the house and so on. You see how it is. I'm sure one of them is harder than the other. I'm feeling very nonchalant about it to be quite honest. Like I'm just going to get a place, I'm just going to find a job, I'm just going to open a bank account. I really am not sure what I need to do.

I guess I need to fail. I obviously don't want to but it's probably good if I do. Not in the wholly classical sense where lose everything. No, maybe small doses of failure will be good. I don't think too many people know exactly what there plans are. I have a rough plan I'm working to but anything in between - good or bad - seems to be quite fair in gaining. What the hell do I mean? Can't say but I know that it's mine.

Ultimately it's my decisions and actions that determine how successful I will be in Canada. I should be looking for places to stay and jobs to gain. Perhaps my happy-go-lucky attitude needs to be changed or at least adjusted. There's thing in my life I know I want and I'll be damned if I'm going to let opportunities pass me by.

Anyway enough doom and freakin' gloom. I am looking forward to travelling there. It's going to be something new. It's going to be something very, very different and I'll be doing more sight seeing this time - guaranteed. Definitely going for a car this time. I don't want to sound like a slave to the motor industry but it's pretty obvious that my current goal/objective is to see the place I'm living and Canada, for the uninformed, is a fairly large land mass. So I'm either gonna need to start flapping hard or grow some wings. Or a car. It's quite a plausible situation to find myself in really. I didn't do it in England because frankly English roads scared the putney out of me. A simple fear perhaps but I'm still alive so there!

Don't fear for me. I can do it better than you and it's self-inflicted. If I didn't think that I could do this I'd go back to Australia and contemplate moving up to Lancelin. Fortunately I can deal with myself complaining about how I miss Australia and how America is like Australia in twenty years time. Yeah, take that.

In other news I'm pregnant. That sucks. Explains the fat and moodiness. Also I need a haircut. Everything is going aces. So until next time intrepid reader be good, don't snort glue and certainly don't write crude letters to the Editor.

Here Today

2009-03-25T14:14:00.000-04:00

Yep, I'm in Tennessee. This is my rest time where I get to kick back, punch people and generally tell people what I think about political and religious matters. It is great because I get to see my lovely Chelsea. She is great but she doesn't know that. I'll make her so sure about it that she won't never need to doubt it.

I'm not going to be idle, no, no! I'm going to be using this time as an opportunity to look for jobs and places to stay. You know - the important things; the things that I should have been thinking about a couple of month ago. Never fear because I've got my thumbs in a couple of pies that could turn out to be both delicious and profitable. You know what I mean!?

So for the next couple of weeks I'll be both brooding and happy. I'm nervous. I shouldn't be but I am. People are seemingly more confident in me and my actions than I am. I don't know why. It was quite easy to assimilate myself in to English society. It wasn't that much different to Australia. Different countries, yes but Australia is still quite an Anglo-Saxon society even if we don't think we are...

...on the other hand and side of the world Canada is different. Yeah, yeah. Same Queen, same roots but due to the unmistakable segregation that Australia has from the rest of the world we've stuck to those roots whereas the Canadians have grown and fondled their American cousin's society. Oh yes, oh yes. I'm saying things I know little about. For all I know Canada could be considerably different to how I think it is. Heck, I know that England certainly was. I'd over romanticised that something savage and I guess that I was quite taken aback when I realised that it wasn't all tea and crumpets and conversation about the Euro. Well...2 outta 3 ain't bad.

So what am I trying to say? Don't travel, it'll do you in eventually? Well, yeah but I'd thought that since I lived in Australia. I know that one day I will have to settle down (and God knows that I want to settle down with Ms. Bennett [the Chelsea one]) and do the things that people who settle down do (dey do dough, don't dey dough?). Bugger it. Why am I even thinking about this? I'm a dumb, that's why. Chelsea says it and she's right.

Anyhow must shower now...stuff to do, people to impress and all that! Pip-pip! Stay short, don't eat out of bins and certainly don't "watch children". It's against the law, you see.

Peace and love, peace and love, peace and love.

Canadian Amp

2009-02-13T04:20:00.001-05:00

That's right. For those of you who can't read Canadian I am indeed heading off to the Great White Shark of the world! I am terricited! That's terrified and excited all in one! How can it be? Nobody knows! Regardless this is a great opportunity for me to be a brain and just see the world. Soak it in la', soak it in. I love that I've been given/taken this opportunity!

It also means I am closer to mon coeur, Chelsea. I had a great 8 days with her and I'm looking forward to counting down 30 days. It's less than that I'm working and it's more than that until I see her but I'll be damned in numbers will get in my way to loving her :)

Anyway I'm not sure anyone reads this or cares about it so I'll just be content in the fact that I've been accepted. NOW...to sort out my EVERYTHING.

Lots of love!

Now I'm Here

2009-01-01T20:43:00.000-05:00

I'm still here. I am just recovering from the month that was December. What a belter of a month and what a great month for money. I've nearly made as much money from tips as I have from wages. It's been great and I'm so very glad I decided to come back for this month. It has been a complete slog and I'm glad I've done it. I don't think it's yet over and I'm sure that this feeling will carry on until February...

...UNTIL which time I go on a holiday! Yes, that's right. A holiday. It was only seven months ago I was in America lazing it up, kissing Chelsea and drinking loads of beer. Well.. it was and I happened to like it. Chelsea is coming over to see me and that's the greatest New Year's gift anyone can give me at the moment. She knows how I love her and now she is coming over here.

I've not actually progressed on my Canada trip. I need to get that all sent off THIS fortnight. If not then I may be in for an up hill battle. I will succeed though. I am sure of it. I have this delicious luck of the Irish. God protects babies and drunks. I'm one of each so that will work out well for me in the end.

Somebody loves you, don't you know it.

Money (That's What I Want)

2008-11-01T10:56:00.000-04:00

Just checking up on the old finances and I'm not looking too bad. I think I will have saved enough money up by the time that I get to Canada (which ever damned province ends up stealing my heart) to live the high life - smoking caviar, eating pipes on Dutch bread and throwing Loonies at poor people. However on an actual serious note I think that I am planning well for this. The old Green Card application has been sent and I am planning to rejoice without even having won it (yet!). It would be great and I'd certainly relish the opportunity to work there. What a life I lead.

Furthering on the Alberta/Ontario move, I think I've made the right move. I wasn't entirely confident on Ontario. Sure it would have been closer to England/same time zone as GEORG but, er, I was fairly keen on moving to/near/around Banff. The guest who came in and told me about Banff blew my mind. I wish I was off that day so I could talk, talk, talk to her and her party of friends. They were informed, they was! A definite plus for me is that Alberta lives just above Montana and "those" states i.e. Wyoming, Idaho, North/South Dakota and Nebraska. No one ever talks about "those" states. So that's another positive. Positivenegative?

Does anyone read these all the way through? I applaud you heavily if you do. You should get yourselves a medal of some sort. Perhaps made out of bauxite. That would be great and probably deadly. I wrote dealy then wortte! TWICE. I am stupid. Soon people will get suspicious that I'm not actually going to Canada.

I'm certainly booked in for America this Saint Patrick's Day. Why did I choose that day? I have no idea. It just seemed cheaper than any other time during March. It seems so very long away when in reality it is 19 weeks away. Consider the fact that Christmas is now 7 weeks away. After Christmas/New Year it will only be 12 weeks. I won't be working those entire 12 weeks (1 week off to hopefully see Chelsea in January, 1 week off before I leave to sort out my affairs [certainly not romantic ones, zing!]) so that makes it, conservatively, 10 weeks. That's a walk in the park. I think I'd like to stop working maybe the 6th of March. It's a reflection of what I did in June. It was excellent not to work the Sunday I left. THEN free beers on the Monday. I enjoyed my last day there. I should recount that at a different time.

So that's the time line, old chums. March 17, I fly to Philadelphia to see Georg. I'll be with him for a week and then on 24th I'll be flying to BNA to see Chelsea for, at the moment, an undetermined amount of time. I really do need to figure out how long I'm going to laze there. Not too long but at least being in America I can apply for jobs/scout things about a little easier. There's no point me doing it now. Fallacy. I guess there is perhaps some point investigating but me saying "Oh, I'll be over there in April/May". I may as well say "I'm not coming yet but keep a job open for me". I'm not an idiot. Not as big as you might think at least.

From Nashville I will toddling up to Calgary. The only memory/thoughts I have of Calgary is of Cool Runnings. Not that good but I remember them being black and freezing. I think there was an egg involved too. Seeing as I have no one to pick me up from there I will have to get my grey matter functioning to think of a way to get out toward Banff. It's about an hour away and I won't have a car or a helicopter. Nor any ideas. I'm paddling up a certain body of water without a critical acceleratory device. Not to worry. Most things in my life seem that way! Per ardua ad astra! Something like that at least.

Happy November, Chelsea. I love you.

Stop the Clocks

2008-10-24T07:45:00.001-04:00

That's right, people! Cameron, the master of indecision has struck again. It is because people (guests at the Midland) have been talking to me and saying "Cameron, why Ontario?" and I says, I says to them "Well..Neil Young will sing me songs and put me to bed each night". I'd deadpan that to them and they would toddle along quietly not knowing what to do.

However on a rather serious note I think my sights will be refocused back on to Alberta. It was described as stunningly beautiful to me and I want some of that in my life. I want a piece of the world that, to me, is the most beautiful place on Earth. I don't have that at the moment and I want it. Seems to me that everyone has that place. I'm lacking! (a brain)

So to recap: Listen to people who ask you "Where do you come from?", get excited when they mention Canada and attempt to get over to their table as often as you can. Also mention Krispy Kreme donuts. Gross. The name alone gives you diabetes. Horrible.

Help Me to Help Myself

2008-10-10T07:41:00.001-04:00

I've got my passport photos so now all I have to do is get a cheque sorted out for payment. Canada, watch out! Oh yes, my dreams (which have sort of become reality in the last 4 months) are getting closer to be achieved. While it's long way to go and also hard road of hope in the mean time I will continue along this cone of reality. It's really quite good actually.

I've also started the application for the Diversity Lottery - the green card. That's not going to badly either. I'm worried my photo won't be the appropriate measurements though and it'll be rejected. A little annoying, I'm sure. I'm assuming it's a passport photo but I don't want to go through it all and realise that in reality, it's not. That would hurt. AND WASTE MY MONEY.

Sort of. Just remember that I'm not coming back to Australia, kids. Sometime after this whole ordeal has blown over. Until then, I'll just stick to the Northern Hemisphere.

Love to you all! Be good.

Cameron.

I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself

2008-10-05T05:23:00.001-04:00

Just to the curious few silly champions, I want to make it quite explicitly clear that I am not going to return to Australia in the foreseeable future. It's just the way I feel. These feelings only rise up in the sweat and smoke...like mercury. Often my mouth is undone but that is only because I'm young. Heh, I used to be the vicitim but now I'm not the only one.

A public service announcement.

Going Down the Road Feeling Bad

2008-10-03T12:33:00.001-04:00

I have progressed since last time you would have read my musings. Oh yes, I'm not just a pretty face. No, far from it actually. Sometimes I shudder when reading the newspaper about the people who have to see me each day. On with it anyway..

I've got my printed application which is a plus! I now require passport photos which is a fairly simple task. If there's one thing that is more prominent over here than underage drinking it's passport photo machines. They're everywhere. I'm actually getting a signal from one now! How about that? Don't believe it. Understandable.

Confidence in my move is starting to slip a little. It's simply the fact that I am going in to a very big unknown. I'm not just talking about wearing your sister's clothes while she is out at the supermarket. No, no. I'm talking about uprooting myself from a country I am reasonably acquainted with and moving to a country I've never been to. Yes, argument slightly valid with England but I have family here and a handful of people I know. In Canada I know no one and I'm only barely intimate with the provinces. I know a little about the history of Canada and famous people from there but other than that...nothing. Woe is me. I'm soooo hard done by.

But fear not faithful reader! As silly as it sounds I do want to fail at some stage during this pulling up of stakes. I want to fail because then I can learn from my mistakes. I am leading a somewhat sheltered life at the moment and I'm not doing anything that is unbecoming of how some people may describe me. Actually I've described myself in the past as 'dull', 'boring' and 'fat'. 100% strike rate with those words. Ouch. I'd like to perhaps get drunk one night and forget how many teeth I have or the name of the first President of the Continental Congress (Peyton Randolph if you please). But I can't. I do like starting sentences with conjunctions. And no one can stop me. Yet just try. The joke there is that I did 3 times. It may have slipped past a couple of people but I'm sure that most of you got it.

So thing are going well. I don't need to rush this process. The Letter of Invitation lasts a year so if anything.. I might want to wait a little bit. I'm sure if it takes a couple of days for the required documents to get to the Colony, then a couple of days to be sent to Canberra, processing time and then the reverse process I'm looking at about a month. That is Camstimate™. It could very well be longer or shorter. I don't care. So long as something comes of it. I remember how nervous I was when my English visa was taking a while. A whole lot of stupidity on my behalf but still - quite nerve wracking!

I am also going to apply for the Electronic Diversity Visa Lottery. That is green card to you and I! Bleedin' foreigners. I'll show the Americans. Me in America would be equivalent to a mouse in a handbag. He'd be happy there but wonder what he's doing. I should steer clear of New York though. People might mistake me for Kiwi and that is sacrilege. I can't have that. I also can't stop thinking that mouse. Cute little thing it is. 2010! That will be America year. If I was issued a green card that would be awesome and I would flirt it everywhere until one day I lost it and people became suspicious of me. By that time I will be Emmanuel del Rayo Cortez. I'm sure I can become more Hispanic looking before I lose anything. Here's to hoping!

I will leave you all to mull over what I've said and perhaps give you time to ferment thoughts about me. Like "Does he shave that often?" or "How can people stand his presence?". In fact I can answer those two now. I shave every two days. It keeps the follicles at bay! Have at thee, hair! As for the presence question: I'm not entirely sure. I think it's because when I'm around people who are feeling down kill themselves or those who lack in self confidence feel better because they have a larger sack of door knobs with them. That's right. I'm a sack of door knobs.

Ce qui sera, sera.

Get What You Need

2008-09-25T18:41:00.001-04:00

I think I've finally solved the Ontario/Alberta thing. It mightn't worry anyone reading this but I had a serious dilemma arise over whether to move to Alberta - my original choice - or try my luck in the Big Easy of Canada. Toronto. If I was being quite honest with myself I would say I'd like to try my hand in Alberta. It is, and this is only an assessment based on pictures and having copious amounts of people say "Oh, Alberta is so very pretty, very pretty. Yes, I did that on purpose. My English isn't as poor as the stereotype is.

So I have decided on Ontario. As Chelsea has mentioned to me I can move there and easily transfer my business and doings other places in the country. I am not limited to just one province. Even though many people may say "Cameron, Cameron! You've been at The Midland for a year. How can you possibly expect to travel a country that is, at a conservative estimate, 31905 times larger than England? You've only just got down to London after a year!" I would just ignore them! Why? Because I'd come here to work, obviously. The travelling is the icing on the cake, the head on the beer, the shoe in the sandwich. I am pleased I've done what I've done. Sure, I would like to do a little bit more but in that time I've not gone to Europe I have travelled a sizable portion of America. So jog on, you naysayers. I'm sure I've updated people on what I want them to know in regards to America. If you don't know what I've done/where I've been: please e-mail me! I'd love to talk to you! Even if I don't I am sure I can fake it enough so it appears that way.

Vocation wise? Well I'm going to leave that until later on next year. I don't care what I've got to do so long as a job opportunity comes up. There's a couple (literally two!) of things I am good at so I guess I will pursue that. The two things? Eating and talking. That is it. I could eat food whilst giving a speech? Give a speech whilst eating the food and then eat some? Deadly cycle, that. I am sure I am enough of an adult to be able to sort out "adult" style problems. If not I am in for a bit of an ass/arse kicking and I will learn from those mistakes pretty quickly. If there's a chance I could lose money then I'm usually all over the problem like a rash.

In other news: I need to buy food.

Thank you for your time! Enjoy your everything.

Beaucoups of Blues

2008-09-24T18:22:00.001-04:00

I have just read a prophetic page in my little memo book which I thought was quite amusing. I had a similar attitude before I left Australia for England. It reads:

"My move to Canada will either
be my making or my undoing"

Chilling visions of the future for Cameron Cuming. It's not even 2009 and I'm predicting my down fall. It's absolutely not a case that I don't trust myself. No. It has more to do with the fact that I am going in to a completely foreign country. Whilst I'm quite aware that the Canadians are formal with their English, my limited time in America (3 months-ish, 7 days) indicates to me that it will be an incredible transition for me to make. Just think about this. For 21 years I lived in a reasonably large city - in Australian terms at least. Wikipedia says 85,000 people as of 2006 census but I'm sure it was 95,000 people when I left last year. 10,000 in a year? Probably untrue but regardless it was just under 100,000 people. I stayed there for twenty-one years. Sure we moved but you are actually talking about no more than 2kms away from my childhood house.

Mum and dad liked the area and I can't blame them. I like it too but now I understand there is more out there. Australia almost promotes a sentiment of celebrating isolationism. "We're Australia and because we're cut off from the rest of the world, we'll act like that's part of the draw of us!". Don't get me wrong, please. It is certainly a comforting feeling while you live there but once you take off from Sydney, Melbourne, Perth, Adelaide (should not have it's own international airport for 2 reasons), Brisbane or Hobart International Airports, you begin to realise that we have sort of doomed ourselves. We are like the Boo Radley of the world. If you don't understand that then I'm not going to explain it to you. Read a damned book. Specifically "To Kill A Mockingbird". Everyone else should be rolling around in the aisles in stitches due to my talent in comparing my nation to a character in a book.

Enough of my "Un-Australianness". I'm sure if anyone bothers to read this it will come up somewhere along the line. Believe you me, I am Australian. I like being Australia. I enjoy being Australian. I hate the Poms and Kiwis as much as everyone else but I refuse to be blinkered to the world and what it has to offer. I am not a horse for a start. I just want to see what there is! As much as I hate it one day I will probably return to the sun and the sea. That's right. One day I will go back to Brighton and thumb my nose in the direction of Australia.

My initial idea for this post was to tell you that I will be leaving the United Kingdom on the 17th of March, 2009. I will be leaving from Manchester Airport and I'll be landing and Philadelphia International Airport. I'll be staying there for a week with a friend and then on the 24th I will scoot down to Nashville, Tennessee to visit Chelsea. I'd like to think I will be able to be there for my birthday (23rd, April). I would have liked to have been there for this year when Elvis Costello played at the Ryman Auditorium but it just wasn't to be. That's a shame but really it was only a 22nd. Even the 21st wouldn't have been that important! 23rd on the 23rd of April. Nice one, Cameron. Just a couple of drinks and some food at McCreary's. I love that place even though at the moment I live half an hour away from the actual Ireland. It doesn't matter one bit.

Then, with a little luck, I will be flying up to Toronto on the 28th of April. Keeping in line with my neuroticism I hope to have some sort of of accommodation lined up and even a couple of job interviews if not an actual job. Seeing as I'm not that skilled at anything other than talking (and then barely that!) I fear a little bit how difficult it may be. As careless and fancy free as I am I quite obviously don't want to turn up to Canada and be living off savings from England. I hope to have enough to allow myself a crutch to stand on for, if need be, a couple of weeks. I'm going to check out if there is anything like the website I went through in Australia for England. Except for Canada in England. I'm a wily one. If not overly cautious then perhaps just a little bit mentally diminished. That is to say that I should not operate a car or perhaps even a razor.

So there you go. You all sort of know what is going on. If not pay closer attention.

Love to all two of you who read this (Mum and dad! Thanks!)

Cameron.

First Year Blues

2008-09-23T10:53:00.002-04:00

I am immigrating to Canada after emigrating my own. Why you ask? No, I won't reveal that just yet.

Plus I want to see how this looks. Chelsea has chelaska and I have camnada. I thought that was quite humourous on my behalf.

I will get around to answering things that no one has answered. Cheers.